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Was with someone from age 14-23 he turned to drugs I divorced him in 2015 and have been alone since (by choice) I had to relearn to love the solitude it took years of dealing with what you are talking about but now that my own company is enough and makes me happy I’ll probably never let anyone in again 
From: Lisalovesfeathers
Hi, I am sorry your ex got involved with drugs, that must have been very difficult. I totally understand the living alone thing though, its hard to explain to people that dont know just how good it can feel to live alone if you get used to it and of course do enjoy your own company. I too have been on my own for a long time and never want to live with another person. Saying that of course it would be a shame if the experience you had with your ex ruined any chance you had with future happiness so maybe you could try long term dating without together? I hope you can manage to find the best of both worlds. 
From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ
I’m really sorry that your marriage didn’t work. After my divorce I was single for a couple years, but very lonely. I’ve never learned to be alone with myself and be ok with it. So, I’m glad that you have learned to be ok with the solitude. Maybe one day you will meet someone, who knows? I hope that the experience you had with your x husband doesn’t taint any future relationships that might develop in the future. It’s really hard to open back up when you’ve been hurt, but remember that there ARE good people out there who will treat you good and love you. You matter! ~Mystrose
From: Microsmos
Thank you so much for sharing about these parts of your story here. It must have been quite an experience but to live with this person for so long, and not only being by their side but also by the side of their struggles. It makes completely sense to need some freedom and reaffirm your right to appreciate your own company. I hope that this experience will not prevent you from learning to trust again and appreciate connections that are safe and healthy for you. But also it’s just so good to hear how much you appreciate solitude and feel whole in it too. That is, in itself, such a huge, huge mark of growth and healing. You can be proud of yourself for this journey of yours. I see the energy and dedication it must have taken to get to that point of appreciating solitude not as a burdne, but something that can be a beautiful opportunity to meet yourself. <3
@hpatton_92 loving yourself first is huge. No one can do that work for us 
@nicoleisawake that’s the hardest part that finally came about 5 years after I started my solitude but if I can do it anyone can! 