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I avoid the place I pay bills like the plague for this reason. It used to be a home with all those things, and now I feel if I’m not making someone else happy I’m wondering where the me part of myself went.
Hi friend -financial pressures are a huge stressor even for me. And I am sorry to hear that you feel the need to make everyone happy. That is an impossible task for even the strongest of people. I feel there are times I cannot do everything right myself, but hold fast. Give yourself some grace and room to breathe and is there some way you can take the presssure of yourself in regards to the bills. I only ask bc this used to be a huge stressor for myself and once I had control of this over to my wife that has completely taken the pressure off myself with it. Either way we are always here for you if you need anything. Much love! crazytrain116
Hey friend, it makes completely sense to avoid places that are associated to things that make us feel bad about ourselves. It’s a very human reaction while facing difficult emotions, so I hope you make sure to be kind to yourself while you are navigating these. Money especially can be such a burden and make us feel inherently worthless if we don’t reach society’s expectations, or even our very own expectations. Please know that none of this would ever make you worthless or a failure, that how you feel make sense, and any shame that could be felt in this situation is not yours to carry. You have worth and value just for being you, even just for being. This is a rough time that you are going through, but it will never define you as a person. I also relate deeply to this feeling of having to make others happy in order to be fulfilled yourself. What about reversing that tendency, and trying to start to take care of yourself just as much as you would do for others? I bet this idea would bring lots of conflicting thoughts, but in that case that owuld also indicate how much there is something important to be worked on, little by little. How much there be some healing to happen. You are enough just as you are – beyond what you do, say, provide or give, even if it’s hard for you to see it sometimes. I see you, I see your worth and I’m grateful for your presence today.