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I can’t remember the last time I was happy, liek really happy and not just fake smiling though the pain. And I don’t know how to make that feeling go away
From: ManekiNeko
I’m so sorry that you’re struggling through pain. It’s not fair for you to hold that by yourself. I hope you find some people to surround you who can share that burden. You don’t have to pretend here. We’d love for you to come share what’s on your heart if you need to.
@beauti_motionless hey! I have definitely been there. For me what I have to do is dig deep into things that bring me joy, and cut down on things that bring me sorrow or anger. It’s not easy, and I know sometimes it’s hard to find joy in things in life. I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this but you aren’t alone and I know you can battle the feeling away 
@beauti_motionless hey sometimes we all have those times where it can expand to weeks, months even years. But we made it this far in life and I’m sure you can make it past this difficult time. But a word of advice that’s helped me get out of my pit, just don’t fall into the cycle of comfort in your home or anything and try to go explore whether it be the nature of the earth or a museum in the concrete jungle. It’s your life and it’s up to you with what you want to do with it, spend it in the best health!
@beauti_motionless it’s hard to find a reason to fight, to keep going when it feels like you’ve been going and going and going and all of a sudden end up so far from where you hoped you’d be that you wonder if you could ever get back to a path that would lead to happiness. Like you are stranded in your own life. Alone. And how could anyone understand? They /think/ that they are with you because they see you, but they don’t understand the isolation you experience from within - not only with others, but with yourself. It is like experiencing life through plexiglass. You can kind of hear, kind of see, and you can kind of get the sense that you are “with” others, but you always know you’re actually alone. It is a painful reality. And how long can someone feel trapped without breaking? How long until things change, the cage opens, the feelings come back? Is it even possible to get back to a place where you can feel happy? Feel connected? Feel like you’re “here” in life, and not forgotten, broken, alone? It is hard to believe that is possible - even when others say they experience something similar, it feels like - where is the path out? How does life ACTUALLY change? How does it change for ME? These are hard questions you’re wrestling with, friend.
Hi friend, I am sorry that you feel this pain, it is exhausting to put on a fake form of happiness, to try to convince others and even yourself that all is well when you are hurting. I think you have taken the first step in helping to make changes, the first thing is acknowleging that you have something that is making you very unhappy, the next is knowing what that is.
Do you talk to anyone about how you feel? A councellor would be a great idea but if that is not possible a friend, family member or peer maybe? open up and share your feelings and see if you can get some insight into what is causing your pain and how that could be worked on. There is a saying about a problem shared is a problem halved. Of course you can continue to post on our support wall too if you wish, we will support you as much as you need to. It is time you found your real smile again, you deserve it. Much Love Lisa. x
Hey there, I’m really sorry to hear that you’ve been feeling this way, but I’m here for you. Remember, it’s okay to have tough days, and you don’t have to go through them alone. Hopefully you can find some ways to bring back those genuine smiles 🫶🏻
Yes, it’s hard to keep moving on when it feels like the way we are and the way we feel is artificial. It does make sense at first to keep pursuing something we have a hard time remembering to feel in the first place. Happiness is a noble pursuit yet so elusive at the same time. And this pressure to smile through the pain… it’s torture to the soul. While internally you want to scream your heart out and be heard for how you truly feel, there is this urge and social expectation to be good at all times, to keep up appearances as much as possible - because vulnerability creates discomfort, and sometimes breaks bridges we’ve created with others too.
I’m sorry that you’ve been feeling stuck in this “in-between” where no one would truly see you or hear you out. It’s hard to feel the pressure to keep on moving on while somehow falsifying our emotions for the sake of others. There’s a need for authenticity and vulnerability to be expressed, but the challenge comes with finding where or with whom it would be possible.
When you posted this comment, you have share your true self without any mask, and that is such a strong move. It can feel easier to do it online with total strangers - still you did it, and that is something to be proud of. I wish for this to be a very first step for you between many, to open this conversation about how you feel more often, and to make sure that your voice is heard especially when you are hurting. It is okay to say “I’m not okay” when that is the case. This world, your loved ones, need you just as you are, but never a silenced version of your heart. And you deserve to be cared for, to have allies by your side, for as long as you need.