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Belongs to: https://forum.heartsupport.com/t/34079
From dobsrae: I’m currently struggling myself and not open to talk about it with alot of people. Stay strong and hold on. It will pass!
Yeah, sometimes things are too raw, too personal to feel like you could open up to others. Sometimes it feels, irrelevant to actually share. That people won’t understand, or that people understanding won’t actually help the issue. Sometimes being known in these places feels like it will just cause more harm than good, it’ll invite unwelcomed judgment or vulnerability. Sometimes it feels like you’d just be better off on your own, figuring it out.
If I’m honest, a lot of the times in my life where I have a hard time sharing, I hope and long for someone who truly cares to come and peel back my defenses and my layers. To say - you matter enough for me to pursue you, to come calling for what’s going on inside of you. And I can end up reinforcing my own feelings of loneliness because I’m huddled in a ball inside of myself wishing for a savior but realizing that no one is coming. It can feel really lonely and really vulnerable to make a decision to share what’s going on inside of me when I’m in that place, because I /already/ feel disappointed when bringing my pain to others that they didn’t come asking first. Being a victim is a “safe place” for me, because I assume that pity is something that attracts compassion. But in some cases, pity is what actually isolates me. I think that dramatizing my pain will invite connection, but it ends up keeping me isolated.
All that to say, makes sense that sometimes things you have on your plate you just don’t want to share with others. Also, hoping that connection and compassion hit you at the right time to support you through whatever it is.