HeartSupport_Fans Fans #99

From taylorpalmby: sometimes I struggle with the thoughts in my head as well. I notice I tend to intellectualize my feelings but when I really allow myself to feel them it gets really frustrating and overwhelming. I often get angry with myself that I’m even feeling this way because I think a lot of the things I worry about are trivial.

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Which makes sense why you intellectualize things - if they feel trivial, and you feel frustrated at yourself because it feels like you “shouldn’t” or like it’s a waste or that you don’t deserve to feel those feelings because they’re “so small”, it’s safer to intellectualize them. It’s almost like you’re /processing/ them, but it’s with protective gloves on at a distance. You don’t “feel” them as much. Then you feel like you’re doing the right thing with your emotions because you’re seeing them, naming them, looking around them and under them and poking and prodding them. But the hard part is that deep down you know that “thinking” about your emotions doesn’t metabolize them. But to do that, you’d have to feel them, admit that they are really yours, accept them, and in turn, face the fear of being “too much” or having the “wrong reaction” or one you don’t deserve. And so you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t, and if you’re screwed both ways, you might as well do the safe way, right? But then, you never move THROUGH them. And it only compounds the shame you feel within. Hard place to be in, friend.

@taylorpalmby hich makes sense why you intellectualize things - if they feel trivial, and you feel frustrated at yourself because it feels like you “shouldn’t” or like it’s a waste or that you don’t deserve to feel those feelings because they’re “so small”, it’s safer to intellectualize them. It’s almost like you’re /processing/ them, but it’s with protective gloves on at a distance. You don’t “feel” them as much. Then you feel like you’re doing the right thing with your emotions because you’re seeing them, naming them, looking around them and under them and poking and prodding them. But the hard part is that deep down you know that “thinking” about your emotions doesn’t metabolize them. But to do that, you’d have to feel them, admit that they are really yours, accept them, and in turn, face the fear of being “too much” or having the “wrong reaction” or one you don’t deserve. And so you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t, and if you’re screwed both ways, you might as well do the safe way, right? But then, you never move THROUGH them. And it only compounds the shame you feel within. Hard place to be in, friend.

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