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Belongs to: Therapist Reacts to CONFLICT by Slaughter to Prevail
@heartsupport, Hello, I’m a young Brazilian man, I’m getting over the breakup with my girlfriend and listen to what you said, just wake me up, but how do I make the first pass?
The loss of a loved one through a break-up can be very painful, often comparable to losing a loved one through death. Grieving can take time, different periods of time for different people, but I think that a good way to look at it, is from the perspective of the grieving process. If you don’t mind me asking, what do you mean exactly by make the first pass?
Hello friend,
I’m sorry to hear about your recent breakup. Letting go of someone we love and care for can be really hard and an emotional time for sure. I’m happy to hear that you are making progress in healing from this breakup and moving on. Make sure you take the time for yourself that you need until you are ready to put yourself back out there and meet new people. And when you are ready to do this, I’d say to just be yourself. Romantic pursuits can be hit or miss, sometimes people will feel the same way and sometimes they won’t, we can never know how they will play out, but that is all a part of the process. Just stay true to you and what you are looking for throughout and the rest should happen naturally. 
It’s amazing to hear that you are finding your way through healing from this break up. It’s really hard when you have to move on separate ways, grieve the loss that it represents in your life while processing the way it affects you. It must have been really difficult to get to the point of feeling like you are slowly getting over it - and that is something that you can be so damn proud of! Your are getting back on your feet again and feeling you can focus on yourself, on your future, which is wonderful and such a strong sign of finding closure regarding this breakup.
To find someone else and feeling confident in building a new relationship will probably be something that you will feel at an intuitive, intimate level. Somehow, losing someone you love so much challenges your belief in whether or not you can or should date again. But it sounds like you are on your way to reconnect with yourself very deeply and allow yourself to keep on embracing what life has to offer you.
In a general manner, I would say that you will know when the time and circumstances will feel right for you. Maybe you will have new experiences then realize that it was too soon. Maybe you’ll have new experiences then feel like you didn’t have to wait longer. Both are okay experiences to have. What is sure is that you will keep learning from each, and maybe moving forward with a higher level of awareness regarding the way you feel too.
Take your time, listen to yourself as much as possible, trust your intuition as you go, stay open-minded and curious as to what life could offer you. There is no doubt that you will find your way and will keep on growing and healing. You got this, friend. 