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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to The Tale of Jenny and Screech by Ren @heartSupport.
I feel like I have died many times already in my life, the first time was when I was 23 and I lost my elder brother to meningitis, I’ve died three times since I married my wife as she has been diagnosed with cancer three times, I died again in June this year when my mum died from an aneurism. These are just the memorable times that I have died, I’m sure there are more but hey, who cares anyway?
I feel like I am just a walking dead!
I am close to taking the final step, I have several ways planned out in my mind, each with meticulous detail.
All I need now is the courage to rein-act one of my ends, I am spoiled for choice and I feel I have no reason left not to just pick one and try it!
I am dying to end the pain in my heart and my head.
Jump, hang, suffocate, slip with a sharp object which is perfectly placed, forget how many prescription pills I’ve taken and accidentally overdosing, tripping in front of a large vehicle.
I have too many choices of ways I can die but I see no reason left to live!
I really hope you are still here to see this reply, friend.
I want you to know I see you, I see your pain and I can only imagine how it feels for you, having been through so much.
The help and support are out there just waiting for you, and I truly hope you find your way back from the edge.
Your message also made me think of a quote by Nayyirah Waheed -
“I don’t pay attention to the world ending.
It has ended for me many times
and began again in the morning."
I think this because no matter what has happened or how bad it is…each day we get a brand new chance to try again. Sending much love
I really hope that people do care a lot more than you think, and all that loss pain and grief is not gonna be forgotten or easy to get through it but you need to got to expect an emptiness or numbness inside after being through all that , I lost my wife and I only had pain or numbness for along time , but know this it will be a time when you start to heal your hear and. Everything , your bit alone and I’m glad you have reached out on here , I hope you know that you are a strong person to be here talking about this as long as you keep looking fiorwaed and tell yourself I will be better than this and just tell yourself that and have you tried grief counseling? It’s a helpful tool for some people like myself but it’s not worth trying to do it alone ! You have a community that you can talk to and you can be happy and will be happy again , and you will find a reason to keep going on and once you’ve got that motivation will come to you it did to me and I’ve lost a lot of people my self so take it from me I know that you will find a way through this!! For me it’s the belief that they can all can see what I’m doing and I live for them now and be there person as live a life that they would be proud of but you need to find something that works for you, and you can be happy again! Ending yourself is only going to cause more suffering and pain my first wife committed suicide 7 years ago and I was in the same headspace but you need to find a reason to keep pushing please don’t be anything like that I all I can say is you will be able to smile again and find a motivation to push on
