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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to Hope by NF
@HeartSupport
I understand that I need hope. I therefore have hope? I struggle to let it in. I dont understand hope? This brings me grief.
I feel like without hope humans are not motivated to do anything. Without hope life is kind of meaningless. We need hope to be able to survive and be happy during the dark times in our life. Grief is totally normal for us to face with and it takes time to heal. I always try to be positive in my life even when life gets difficult. I can’t be depressed forever the rest of my life. I hope that make sense to you. Let me know if you need any help!
Yes, hope is hard to grasp our head around sometimes. Somehow, it pushes us to question if whether or not hope is a given or if it is something that we need to forge. If we need to wait to feel hopeful in order to take action, or if we need to multiply experiences in order to create this sense of hope in our life, piece by piece. Oftentimes, I personally found myself in the first position, and it was freaking hard to not see hope coming while my situation would keep on declining. Somehow, it has helped me to shift my view and see hope as the result of actualy experiences in life. It’s not because I feel hopeful that I will start enjoying the beauty of a sunset… it’s exactly because I will enjoy - or try to enjoy - the beauty of a sunset, that I will feel more hopeful. Sometimes it feels like a vicious cycle that works against us, and sometimes it feels like this experience that aligns with itself. Complex, difficult to explore, difficult to grasp really, but always worth seeking.
Then as you said, hope can be difficult to let in. If you have been used to live in despair, it might end up feeling more comfortable to stay there. Joy, growth, hope can turn out to feel unfamiliar, uncomfortable or even unwanted. Which makes sense after all: being hopeful means taking a risk - of either moving forward thanks to it or ending up disappointed even mor ethan before. It’s a bet that we take, and somehow a chance we offer to ourselves at the same time. But it can be scary to take the leap and allow ourselves to embrace what feels good when we already know what being hurt means, and how deep it can push us.
There is freedom in allowing yourself to try. There is also peace to find in allowing yourself to feel the grief, the fear, the confusion - yet to still try to take steps forward for yourself. It’s a way to lov eyourself deeply. Because you’re worth it, my friend. 
-Micro