Heartsupport it is so hard to let go of control an

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Belongs to: Therapist Reacts to Nothing More - HOUSE ON SAND
@heartsupport it is so hard to let go of control and try to control my families environment so they are all happy.

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I feel you. Letting go of control is so hard. It often feels like if we don’t spearhead the situation, if we don’t lead the charge, if we don’t put things into motion, then they will not get done, or at least not get done in a way that we envision them getting done. It can be so hard to trust someone else to take the work that you are delegating to them, and it can be so hard to leave something important in someone else’s hands. Especially when this something important is the happiness of your family. It can feel like you are the only person that can create happiness for them, so letting go equates to leaving your family unhappy. I struggle with this all the time, and it can still be very hard for me to let go of control.

Keeping your family happy is not your sole responsibility. Though it feels amazing to brighten someone’s day and to make those around you feel great, you do not have to carry the weight of that responsibility. Simply by being in their lives you are a bright, shining light for every family member. You don’t have to burden yourself with the task of bringing your family up.

You are enough. You do not have to keep your family happy all the time to have intrinsic value. You can have time where you need your family to pour back into you. Your ability to make your family happy does not equal your purpose or familial role. You can be a bright light to them and encourage them, but the burden of ensuring 24/7 happiness for all of them is not yours to bear. Just by being who you are in their lives is powerful. You lead by example and shine your light in a way that signals them to follow your lead. Then they walk in your footsteps rather than you being forced to carry them along the path. I wish you and your family nothing but the best. I appreciate your openness and honesty so much. We are always here for you if you would like to talk more.

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Thank you!..