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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to How Could You Leave Us by NF
@heartsupport my dad died when I was 13. It wasn’t something he could control, but this song HURTS. I didn’t know how to grieve for probably 10 years
I know that road very well my friend & there is no time frame within grieving & when it hits , it hits harsh.
My father clocked out life when I was 6 weeks old & my mother was a nurse working the grind 24/7 never home leaving my brothers & sisters to raise me. My mother told me when I was 8 after my eldest brother took his life because of his GF that my father died of an illness & at 13 she told me the real story how he took his life.
Had 2 step fathers after my father who used me as boxing bag. My mother divorced my 1st step dad who was an alcoholic pill popper who use to beat my mother severely & make us watch. but she stayed with my 2nd step dad till he passed a few years ago. 2nd step father was hard worker , part of an MC & alcoholic hence I was used as a boxing bag as his tough figure was to build toughness into us within the hell hole we lived in to survive. He got me into boxing at 13 which helped me vent my rage over 4 years. My mother was a ghost, working 24/7 & I discovered her pill poppin habit which I began to use also which evolved into full blown drug addiction for me beyond my control & wasn’t till my late 20s in N/A i was avoiding grieving through drug use & the deaths of many close to me & then the real grieving came through sobriety from childhood till then till the now I still grieve in silence walking a fine line of shadow dancing with drug addiction. I walk beside you & all other’s upon the road to healing knowing fully well time & grieving is irrelevant. One day at time brother & cherish the good memories at heart as your father walks beside you also with each step. Stay positive. 
I’m sorry about your dad loss. Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s okay to grieve as long you want. When my grandparents passed away, it took me 4-6 years to moved on. Your dad from heaven doesn’t want you to be sad for too long. He wants you to be happy and enjoy your life to the fullest. Music is so universal and people interpret different ways. Sometimes there are certain songs that hit way too close home for me.
So sorry for your loss, friend. Grief certainly follows its own pace, one that can be hard to follow at times. At some point 10 years must have felt like a second, but also a thousand years at the same time. It’s so hard to feel the distance growing with the person we lost because of time that keeps going on, yet still feeling their presence being so very real in our heart, as if we just talked to them yesterday. Your dad certainly holds a special place in yours. Somehow, he keeps being by your side, even through all of this. 