Hey there!
First off I just want to say thank you for being so open with us here, we appreciate it and don’t take it for granted.
I am glad that this song can allow you to feel understood. I understand how hard it can be to feel accepted and understood. I too have found meaning and support in songs.
I am sorry for all you have had to go through in your life, you don’t deserve this pain, or to go through those things. Self harm is a struggle I also have, it is hard to see the good when a lot of what we know is bad. Something that has helped me personally in my self harm journey of recovery is something I learned from my therapist which is to wait it out- basically when you are in a stressful situation and want to use self harm to cope, you try to wait out your feelings and thoughts- don’t act on them… the thing with it is those feelings last for a certain amount of time, so if you can “wait it out” the urge to self harm may go away.
Depression is a thought struggle many people deal with. It is so tiring and painful. It’s something that no one deserves. Please know you are not alone in this, you are not alone in these struggles. There is help, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I know in those moments it is so hard to remind ourselves of these things, but I think it is very helpful to have some kind of reminder for yourself in these times, a reminder in a place you can go to and rely on in the moments of pain and sadness or intense emotion.
I personally do not have experience with alcohol and drug abuse but I can’t even begin to imagine how hard that must be. I do relate to the self harm, I believe it may be in the same way- it’s something you have known for a while that you can go to to make you feel something. Please know there are positive things you can do in these moments to feel something.
I hope that you have been able to find some assistance from these doctors you have seen, some better ways of coping. I hope they were understanding of what you went through and are going through.
I’m sorry that your family was not as caring as they should have been, you deserved and still deserve to be understood and accepted, and I am sorry that was not given to you in times when it was needed most.
Please know that this community is always here for you, to listen, to be a shoulder to lean on. You are not alone in these struggles you face, or these things you go through. There are people who will listen, and people who care. Sharing your story helps make people feel less alone, and I thank you so mu ch for sharing your journey here.
Take it slow friend.
With love,
Lys
