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Belongs to: Therapist want to be Happy. By NF @HeartSupport Wow that one hit home. That line about the truth is that I need help but I just can’t imagine spoke to me. That is exactly how I feel every day. I know I have spoken here before about my long term disability and bad health. It is tough to deal with because I feel like I’m a burden to others so I never want to ask for help with anything even when I’m in so much pain I can’t function. And I’m not just talking about the physical pain there because there is that mental pain that comes with depression. The last part was so inspiring to take steps forward so one could actually experience being happy instead of fearing it. Thank you for sharing this.
It is SO hard to feel like you can’t reach out for help because you fear being a burden to others. It’s even harder when it’s about people you love, as you wish to be there for them too.
In practice, you are the one living with the chronic pain every day, so you know firsthand how heavy and depressing that can be. It’s understandable to somehow not want for anyone to be invited into this world and carry the load with you. I think, when you don’t want to burden others, it also shows how much you care for them and your willingness to consider their own well-being at the same time. Of course, it shouldn’t become an either/or type of situation though - either your well being or theirs. There is an in-between that can be explored, experimented and learned over time, especially if you’ve been used to exclusively rely on yourself for the most part.
Personally, whenever I’ve felt like I was burdening others with my struggles, and apologized profusely because of it, I was often reminded that people who respond present and are willing to help also make the decision to be there. I’m not forcing their hand, and somehow it’s a beautiful thing to also let people decide if whether or not they want to help. It has helped me realize that when I don’t allow others in, it’s actually more an expression of how I view myself and my struggles, rather than how others actually see me. There’s often a strong gap there that needs to be filled - ideally with love, care, curiosity, and sometimes stretching a bit our own comfort zone.
No matter what you decide in the future, you are absolutely deserving of the support you need at any given time. No struggle is too big or too little to be heard and considered. Somehow, it’s beautiful to not walk through this crazy thing called life just on our own, especially during times when moving forward feels particularly challenging. It sounds like you are yourself on this transition towards doing what is right for you, or maybe experimenting different paths, even if it feels uncomfortable at times. I hope you continue to feel inspired by the content provided here and never cease to share your voice. You matter very much.
@@HeartSupport Thank you. It is definitely tough but it’s something I’ve been working to improve upon. Back in 2018 I was actually at the point I just felt like I should end my life rather than burden my family. I was in a real dark place then, but then I received a call that I was going to be an uncle. My family had reached out to me and offered to move me to their place in another state because they wanted their kids to know me and how special I was. I broke down crying because I had already planned to end it the next morning. Instead I finally accepted their help and offer. Now I’m living with them and the main babysitter for the kids. 2 beautiful girls and a 3rd that is coming in august. They light up my day and make it worth dealing with the pain.
My gosh. This is such a beautiful 180 that you’ve experienced, and I’m SO thankful that you are still with us today.
It’s wonderful to hear how much being an uncle and feeling inspired by this new life has impacted yours positively. There is no doubt that your nieces and upcoming nephew/niece are absolutely blessed for knowing you and sharing life with you - so are your sibling(s) and family as a whole. Of course it doesn’t erase the pain, and life keeps bringing its share of challenges, but it gives such a different color to it. To keep standing up for yourself, for your life, and for all the moments you’ll have the possibility to share a smile… it’s worth it. Thank you so much for sharing, friend. Thank you for your resilience. Thank you for not giving up. There is a lot of beauty to keep experiencing ahead of you.
