Hey guys, I’m a US Army Combat Veteran who has served two tours in the Middle East. Once blown up and the other shot. I’ve lost countless friends who were my brothers and I feel like it’s my fault they died. All this depression guilt and the feeling like I could’ve done more to prevent this weighed down on me. It was one of the causes of my divorce. The other cause was she was a narcissist sociopath. Mentally and physically abusive. While I was deployed in the Middle East I have killed people because I was being shot at. And I just need someone to help me.
3 Likes
Hi friend,
First of all, thank you for your service. I was a military spouse for 14 years so I know the sacrifices and the hardships that come with the territory. On you as a soldier as I watched my ex husband battle through things, as a military family and how hard it can be on any marriage.
I’m so sorry for your fallen friends. Losing people is never easy. And I can’t even imagine how hard it must be to get through combat and deployment. Even with being a military wife for 14 years I could never truly know what you guys mentally go through when over seas fighting.
I’m sorry for the things that you had to see and experience. Here you are loved, valued and cared for! So I hope that you can find some comfort here. And I am so grateful you felt like you could open up and share some of your story.
So much love to you.
- Kitty
Hey @Devastator22 thank you for your service
my good friend was is no longer active but was a marine told me he lost people and we here at HS on staff who served also.
You are not alone in this.
We have a book about depression and can seriously help you called Dwarf Planet writen by Ben (who is on HS staff and was in the Army and went over seas right i think 2 years after 9/11. Has shared his struggles with PTSD and depression.
I never served but I have friends that have shared what helped them get through their experiences in war.
Get a group of that can love you and relate with this. For one thing you are already in the steps to getting help acknowledging you need it.
You are not alone friend.
Morgan
Heartsupport Intern
Hey friend,
So I have to say this first and foremost, at the end of the day, it’s either them or you that goes home to their family, it happened to be you. Please don’t feel guilty for your friends losses, they knew what they were getting into. Please don’t feel that burden on your shoulder brother. I wish I could say war wasn’t a thing, but it exists, and there will always be people there to fight them. Thank you so much for your service!
It is over though my friend, not trying to be selfish but reap those benefits you fought for now. It’s time to leave the past behind brother. If you ever need to contact me I am here for you friend. Please feel free to message whenever so we can talk. I am so glad you posted and are part of this community! I hope to hear from you soon!