Help, I don't know what to do

Okay so, Coconut and I are friends again. It’s official. And I am happy about that. But now I don’t know what to do. Because I’m pretty sure I’m head over heels for Pineapple now. I miss her all the time, and I look for any excuse to see her. I also engage in some interesting activity with her, but that’s besides the point. I was gonna ask her out on April 1st (when spring break ends), but there’s something holding me back. I’m up for learning to trust her again now, so that’s no longer an issue anymore. The problem is that Coconut is lonely. That sounds very childish, but hear me out. Coconut has done so much for me. She truly has. She’s helped me with personal problems BEFORE we became friends again, she’s listened to all of my rants and vents, she’s even helped me with my horrible grades. But she said she’s lonely because everyone around her is in a relationship. She also told me though, that all her crushes have gotten into relationships. She hasn’t had a crush on me at all. Maybe when I had a crush on her and she’d given me a chance and had also gained feelings for me too, but that went away. I don’t know if she’s lonely because her crushes got into relationships, or because people are just jumping into relationships. I’m afraid that I’ll make her feel even worse if I ask Pineapple out. So should I put my feelings aside and be there for Coconut, or just straight up ask Pineapple out?


Hello @0-sunny-0!

It sounds like a complex situation for sure <3 You’re happy to be friends with Coconut again, but you also have feelings for Pineapple. Coconut has been a great friend and you don’t want to hurt her feelings, but you shouldn’t ignore your own happiness either.

The best approach is to be honest with Coconut. Have a conversation where you express your appreciation for her friendship and mention your feelings for Pineapple. Reassure her that your feelings for Pineapple won’t change your friendship and offer your support if she’s feeling lonely. By being upfront and prioritizing your own feelings, you can hopefully navigate this situation with both friendships intact.

Regardless, you’ve got this! You’ve got the support behind you no matter what.


Hi sunny,

Balancing friendships and love interests is never straightforward. I think what is important though is your awareness of the situation and how your actions could have consequences on those you care about. A lot of people don’t have that awareness or the kindness to worry about the impacts of how they behave. The fact you’re here and thinking about these consequences says a lot about the person you are.

I think if you can continue to keep this awareness, you should follow your heart and be honest with Pineapple about your feelings. At the same, being honest with Coconut about your fears that they may feel left out is also important. I think knowing how much you’ve thought about this and the impact your actions could have on them would mean a great deal to Coconut.

Good luck x

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Hello 0-sunny-0,

Thanks for sharing. It sounds like a complicated situation, so I can understand your hesitation and concern. I would like to suggest that it is possible for you to pursue your romantic interests whilst still being a good friend to Coconut as well. One should always take their chance on relationships, because you wouldn’t want to have what ifs in your head about what could have happened. Maybe having a conversation with Coconut about your intentions with Pineapple can help and she could feel more prepared for the potential change to come. Your attempt at handling the situation delicately can really help show how much you care and value your friendship with Coconut which could alleviate some of their worries.

Ultimately, it would be unfair to yourself to not take that step forward and ask Pineapple out, and that alone could also cause a rift in your friendship with Coconut down the line as well. If Coconut values your happiness as a friend and person, then despite their own relationship status, they would be happy and supportive.

I wish you good luck with your decision friend! :white_heart:


Hey @0-sunny-0,

It’s nice to see you again. Thank you for sharing these updates! I’m glad to see that things are better again with Coconut - I bet it must have been relief to find a common ground together.

What you describe can definitely feel conflicting, and the very fact that you have such a deep understanding of everyone’s feelings there just shows how thoughtful and considerate you are with the people you love. As you asked for advice - this is really a personal opinion - I would say that you won’t be wrong for following your heart with Pineapple. Somehow, what happens between Pineapple and you is about your life, and you have the right to give yourself a chance with someone you care about. In a general manner, the fact that Coconut feels lonely or may react poorly to this decision should not be in the equation or interfere with your decision. It’s too different matters that could be dealt with simultaneously, instead of being an either/or type of situation. While you care for your friend and want to be there for them, you also can’t prevent yourself from living your life because of how she could potentially react.

Of course, the way she feels needs to be heard though, and reading your post there is no doubt that you’d like for this possible change to go as smoothly as possible. You know somehow that she may feel affected by this decision, so that means there is an opportunity there to really communicate openly with Coconut too… and who knows, that could help your friendship grow even stronger? To let her know that you are aware of the way she feels, that you care about her, and that you seeing Pineapple is a different matter than the friendship you have together.

Sometimes, when we feel very lonely and insecure, we can become more easily jealous/possessive, or even feel as if the people we love have a limited gauge of affection: if a friend gives some love to another person, we believe there would be less for us as a result, until we are completely forgotten. With your help and reassurance, with a graceful and open communication, Coconut could have the possibility to learn that love/affection is not limited in any way, and that you embody this example in her life. That your feelings for one person doesn’t get in the way of the affection you have for her too.

I wish you all the best moving forward. Keep us updated, if that is okay for you. :heart:


Hi Friend
Thank you for posting, goodness you must feel like a whirling dervish with all these situations arising?
lets take a look at the situation! You are crazy about pineapple, you think pineapple, you think pineapple likes you but you worry about coconut?? that is a good kind friend there but sometimes you just have to think about the things that you need in your life to keep you happy and sadly that will not always fit with what others want, that doesnt have to mean the end of friendships, it just means that discussions have to be had, thoughts and feelings can be considered but ultimately we all want to be happy and we all deserve to be including you, so go for it, take a leap of faith but consider talking to your friend and keeping them in the loop so they dont feel like you are leaving them for pastures new. I wish you lots of luck. xx