They say it gets better, exercise, draw, count blessings, but I have done all those with no resolve to the pain I’ve been feeling for six years. It is a constant and the thought of suicide is always on my mind but no one takes it serious or cares to listen to what I have to say. I am told all the time that I am loved but I will be screaming in tears wanting to talk to someone and they always turn me away. Maybe I would feel their love at my funeral, I feel as though I’ve reached my last resort.
I have not been dealing with depression for as long as you have but I can definitely relate. I know how it feels to be dismissed. Not being taken seriously starts to feel like maybe you’re crazy, though deep down you know that not to be the case. I am so sorry that even in your most desperate moments, those you thought were closest to you couldn’t even give you the time of day. But let me remind you of one thing: you are not alone. You’ve made a brave decision by reaching out for help and together, we can help one another as as community. This has been a huge step in the right direction. Life’s journey awaits you and this depression is very much a part of your path, as is your decision to reach out for help. It may be a bumpy ride but things get better from here.
I’m waiting on the times to get better but they never seem to, it just spirals down to worse I just want that cycle to end.