Honestly I feel lost. In the past few months, I just have felt like I annoy, burden, or let people down whether it be family, friends, or just randomly people i happen to meet. I usually try to keep a smile and keep my composure, but deep down I feel horrible feelings about myself. I usually try to help others and make sure other people are happy, but as of late, I just see so many people happy and ask myself why haven’t I found my happiness. Sure, I’d find things that keep me occupied and nullify the overwhelming feelings, but the moment it is over, it quickly returns. I have some close friends, and that helps stop these feelings, but the moment I’m by myself I feel a strong loneliness and feel like i annoy them if I want to keep hanging out. I just don’t know what to do anymore because I don’t want to be clinging to my friends or to be feeling this way.
I understand these feelings and have felt the same way.
Especially today I am in a rut of feeling like I’m annoying everyone and I just should shut up and isolate; but that’s far from what is true or the correct steps to take. Even though right now it’s the only way I see.
I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone in feeling this way. I know it’s hard and especially hard when alone. I isolated myself from my entire family and friends over time because I thought I was bothering or annoying them. And I suffered thinking this over the years. My brother was diagnosed with cancer and I went to see him even though I had convinced myself that he didn’t really care if I went. When I heard the words “I missed you so much little sister ” I broke down and I think I even said in disbelief “really?” Because it never occurred to me once that he even remembered my existence. And I can’t explain how things got that way. We were so close growing up.
So even though you feel these things, it doesn’t exactly make it the truth of your situation. Reach out or just keep your connections with your friends and loved ones and time will show you their love for you. I’m sorry you are experiencing these feelings, and I know it’s not easy to fight them.
I’ve struggled my whole life with feeling this way. It’s a tough one. Some things that have helped me are journaling, music, and finding hobbies. And also focusing on self,improvment and healing from my past. That especially was what made the feelings so strong, was unresolved past issues. The one that caused me to feel the way you do with friends and family was my dad, he was abusive to me as a child and because of that, I had a deep rooted sense of never feeling good enough. Once I knew that, I could confront the feelings. Maybe try looking deeper? To find the root of why you feel this way? Ive found a lot of peace now that Ive done that, and I highly encourage and recommend! I am sorry you are feeling this way man. You’re awesome for reaching out to us here. I hope you’re able to figure this out, and I pray nothing but the best for you. I hope the pain eases soon. Keep trucking and know we are all here to help if you need us!
Hey there Kris.
You won’t be lost forever. I believe in you. And you are not alone, you never will be. I know how you feel. Hold tight, you will be here when the heart stops beating. You’re strong and a fighter, never forget that. You deserve to have people and friends in your life. Don’t let the dark thoughts win, and post here whenever. Saviour - Black Veil Brides
You’re not alone
To start off, YOU ARE NOT a burden, and you don’t let people down. You haven’t let us down. Do you know what has triggered these feeling? I feel like you struggle with trying to be yourself and its tiring you out because you have these feelings about yourself that is negative. Have you tried to do other stuff that keep your mind positive for longer periods of time? Have you listened to a bunch of truth audios about what you feel? I may not know what it feels to be lonely to feel like annoyance is an issue but just know you are you and you can beat these feelings and find ways to occupy yourself and to overcome these thoughts your having about yourself.
There’s nothing wrong with being “clingy”. Some people need other people around them more than others, and some people like “clingy” friends who express themselves freely and make it clear that you enjoy their company. Enjoying your friends attention is not a bad thing and there’s lots of people out there who appreaciate it. It becomes a problem tho if you’re not able to be by yourself at all.
Finding your happiness is a long journey, and depending on who you ask, many say we as humans cant actually find it. That no matter what we have, we will always come up with something new that we want, something we still feel like we’re missing. Like if I only get this one more thing or do this and learn this, then I’ll be happy. But it very rarely works like that. Finding happiness is learning to appreaciate the thing you do have in this very moment. Kind of mindfulness I guess.
Also, stretching yourself thin by helping others around you and making sure they’re happy while ignoring your own feelings and struggles is not going to help. Being able to help others is great and it makes us feel better about ourselves, but we cant put others in front of ourselves. You cant carry someone else’s struggles while ignoring your own. Please, please put yourself first. Figure out where these feelings of being lonely and a burden are coming from. Did someone else make you feel like that? Are you not happy with person you are? You need to find the source of those feelings to be able to fix them.
Learning to be by yourself is important. It’s really difficult, but it’s something worth working on. Because the sad truth in life is, alone is something you will be quite a lot. There wont be someone physically with you 24/7 for the rest of your life. And if you cant be by yourself and get horrible thoughts every time, it’s gonna get exhausting and rough. Becoming comfortable enough with yourself to say “I’m okay without other people’s validation, I can validate and accept myself” is worth working for.
Sending you lots and lots of love. Hold fast friend <3