How do i get life going

I am 43 with 2 small kids on the spectrum. I left my ex a year and a bit ago and currently reside with my parents. I am not working as i was doing schooling which under the stress of split up and other demands of my kids needs i did not pass my course and now have a huge student lian to pay back. I owe cerb money, and have 2 racked ctedit cards. I want to work but im constantly driving kuds to school/therapy and everywhere else and i have no one to watch them. My ex takes them for 2 hrs sometimes 3 about 4 times a week. Im burnt out. My kuds do not sleep well and are up all hours. I am tired of not having my own place, my parents are great but i need my space. Im however desperately terrified that i will be miserable living alone. I have some social anxiety and no friends where i live. I dont have any friends for my kuds. Im feeling really stuck and really bored with life and just tired all the time. I dont know how to get on top of things. I feel like it is hard to do half the stuff i do now because i am so tired all the time.


Hi @Blerg :people_hugging:

Firstly, welcome to HeartSupport!

I wanted to start by acknowledging how tricky and complicated your situation sounds. You’re carrying a heavy load indeed, with the responsibility of caring for your children, navigating a recent breakup, managing financial stress and coping with your own mental health. It’s acceptable to be exhaustive given the amount on your plate.

However, there will be others in your situation too, so you definetly aren’t alone. Many parents will face similar struggles. They will know your pain and the challenges you face. It’s okay to feel burnt out, tired and uncertain about what the future holds. These feelings are valid and they need to be processed

Here are some simple things you can do, to get your life moving in the right direction:

  1. Prioritize taking care of yourself daily, whether through short walks, deep breathing, or hobbies, to maintain energy and resilience.
  2. Seek support from family, friends, or professionals, including joining support groups and considering therapy for emotional processing and stress management.
  3. Look into childcare options for respite and flexibility, such as daycare, part-time nanny, or respite care services.
  4. Address financial concerns by creating a budget, prioritizing debt repayment, and seeking guidance from financial advisors.
  5. Explore flexible work and education opportunities that accommodate caregiving responsibilities.
  6. Take steps towards independence by exploring housing options and seeking assistance from local organizations.
  7. Cultivate social connections through community involvement, attending events, and volunteering to combat isolation and loneliness.

Take things one step at a time. Celebrate the small wins :black_heart:


Welcome @Blerg,

I agree with @EvilGenius that “you are carrying a heavy load.” I think the advice given is sound. Break apart some of the issues and address them one at a time. Hopefully, this will give you a sense of accomplishment and give you the push to tackle the issue.

Consider talking to your children’s teachers about free afterschool programs where they could meet friends (and give you a small break). Look into social support groups for yourself; you may find others are in the same situation or have solutions to similar problems.

Most importantly, take care of yourself. Get rest, eat right, and again, one thing at time.

1 Like

@EvilGenius @SheListens i agree with them as well.

@Blerg , While kids are in school you can find Flexible job to fox your schedule. Afterschool programs and resources for your kid’s, you can also search BOARD OF EDUCATION as well what suits for your kids.
Parent coordinators. The principals.
DOES your kids have IEP?
If they do, you have to find IEP school board from your district as well.
These are information that i know from taking Foster care training.

Hi Blerg welcome to our community and thanks for sharing
I am so sorry for what you are going through you are carrying a great deal of responsibility with your breakup, raising your children, and financial problems and all these issues are taking a big toll on your mental health. You should start by working on yourself talking to family and friends about these issues, doing what makes you happy, doing hobbies, walking, gym, etc. Look into childcare nanny, daycare, and family. Lastly, get your finances in order budget, make financial plans, ask for help, etc. Do everything in your power to make the best out of this situation.