Hello,
So lately things have been much better and life has been more positive…been regular with a therapist and thinking who i really want to be and what I want in my life.
But as I was working this past week I had an incredibly horrible thought pass through my head…one I wouldn’t even think of and one that disgusts me to the point I too ashamed to even write it down. I don’t know why this thought passed through my head…I believe it’s called intrusive thinking or something where you experienced dark thoughts.
The more I try to escape this thought…tell myself I am not my thoughts…That this thought is not something I believe in morally and attempt to forget it…it grows worse…I’m feeling like a horrible horrible person.
I reached out to my therapist…she hasn’t gotten back to me. My brain is feeling out of control and I don’t understand. It makes me want to avoid others. I tried meditating and going on a trail today but I’m struggling
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Hey
Dark thoughts and self destructive thoughts are some of the hardest thoughts to combat, in that they can be relentless in nature and seem to be so accurate in their appraisal of situations and circumstances, but never forget that you are not what they say you are (easier said than done, I know). I don’t know if you believe in God, but I pray you find peace and love and acceptance because He loves you so much and you are worth so much more than you know. I hope you have an awesome day!!!