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How to find the right therapist?


I’m not 100% sure I know what’s wrong with me, but I’ve tried a bunch of medications for years now to fix it without any success. I was thinking about maybe trying something more talk-based, but getting that started has proved daunting.

I guess what intimidates me most is that I don’t think I’d feel comfortable enough to say anything to a prospective therapist if I didn’t feel like I could trust in them personally, or have confidence in their ability to know what I should go do with myself.

So if anyone has some pointers they can share on how I might go about getting the ball rolling, I’d appreciate it.



Hello MisanthropicAndStuff!

I would recommend you try and free trial for BetterHelp at
I understand finding and trusting a therapist can be a very daunting task, I largely felt the same, so maybe an online therapist as opposed to an in person one can give you the necessary space to feel safe. Hope this helps hold fast friend!


You’re correct. Trust is to be earned. Give something trivial to your therapist first. Test them. See how they react. Give them a simple problem that you have and give them one instance in how you’re thinking of solving it yet tell them that you’re unsure. See how they respond. If they reassure you maybe they’re right for you. If they give you another option you haven’t thought of or mentioned yet leave it up to you to decide what to do then they’re for you. IMHO.


Your right, finding a thereapist can be a daunting task. Finding in a complete stranger you can confide in, and not feel judged is hard. Sometimes you need to go through a few different therapists before you find one who fits/clicks with you.

I got a referance for a thereapist from someone I used to work with, and had really helped her, so she gave me their info. I also looked up therapists in my area, and looked into what they focoused on. The first one I contacted wasn’t taking new clients for a while, so I decided to try the one my coworker gave me. I just started out by emailing them, and then had a brief phone consult to see if they would be the right fit, and so on, and then booked my first session. I was honestly terrified.

Looking for and accepting I needed to see a proffesional was really hard for me (it still kind of is), but it’s definitely helped. Sometimes it just takes some time to find that right fit.


Hey @MisanthropicAndStuff

My name is Hannah, I’m one of HeartSupport’s interns. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.

I know that I was super apprehensive when I first started going to therapy. I think that most people are pretty apprehensive when they first start going into therapy. Someone shared me a few “pointers” (not sure what else to call them) when I first started going that really helped me.
So I hope this might help a little:

  • you don’t have to stay for the entire time of the appointment if you don’t feel comfortable or feel that they’re not the right therapist for you.
  • try to answer their questions as honestly as you can, if you don’t feel comfortable with one of their questions, tell them that. Just let them know you’re not ready to talk about that yet.
  • it’s okay to not choose the very first therapist you for to.
  • get to know them too. I’m not comfortable telling someone I don’t know super deep things about me or my past, so ask your therapist questions, not super deep ones or anything, but like where they’re from or if they have pets, it’ll help make you feel more comfortable if you know a little about them too.

Those are just a few tips that may help, keep us up to date! I hope that you’re able to find a therapist that helps you.

Hold fast,