She is on the verge of committing suicide…I tried to talk to her, but she doesn’t listen to me…She’s on and on about how everyone will eventually forget her. I want to desperately help her but I don’t know how to. I’m lost.
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Hey welcome to heart support, thank you for sharing. I know it’s very very hard to see someone we love in crisis.
Sometimes being a very calm and reasonable voice for them is so helpful. Remind them that you want to listen to them, that you’re there for them. If necessary, ask them if it’s okay to involve someone else for support because these people love them.
Sometimes we have to allow them time. Even when it feels like a time sensitive case, we can encourage them that when they are ready and if they feel safe to reach out to perhaps emergency assistance or to a crisis team some of which you can find Here
If they are hesitant to reach out and you feel they are in immediate need of assistance, perhaps you can call emergency services yourself.
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Welcome to Heart Support, AnonHelp
I admire your spirit as a caring friend, wanting to help her during her hardest moments and talking to her. Seeing friends struggle while feeling powerless is one of the worst feelings there are, so please remember to take care of yourself also.
If talking with her isn’t working, are you physically able to be with her? Your friend may be feeling alone right now and appreciate that someone is by her side, and you can keep her physically safe. If not, there are resources out there that you can direct her to, as in @ManekiNeko 's link. Letting others who are close to her or someone who has higher level of qualification know about her status will also be helpful.
I believe in you
-Gremlin
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there’s a problem in calling services myself. i do not know where in the country she lives nor do i know her real name. i only have vague information about her, I don’t think anybody can help locate her on time with what info i have
That’s really really rough! Gosh I’m sure it must be so stressful for you. If you feel comfortable you could keep reminding them that you are there for them and encourage them that when they are ready you will support them reaching out for either crisis or professional support.
It’s very hard to carry the weight of someone else’s struggle, even when we love them dearly. You’re doing such an amazing job and being such a wonderful friend.
Sometimes when we push a little too hard with someone it can cause them to get frustrated, so I know personally I try to give a little gentle reminder that they are always loved and that they will always have the support, but there’s only so much I can do when I can be physically there, so I would love to see them be able to reach out to someone who is able to help in this moment.
I remind them that I want to be there for them as a friend who cares.
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She said she’ll see me again tomorrow. I do not know if it’s because the drugs she wanted to use didn’t arrive, or if I was able to actually help her. I can only hope it is the latter. I do not believe in God, but I can only pray to something that she’s able to improve her situation. Thank you for your help, internet strangers.
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I’m so very glad to hear that! I’m so very sure that you being such a good friend has helped so much x
Remember to take care of yourself as well
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This is related to my previous post yesterday. She is in an abusive relationship, her bf cannot physically abuse her because she lives far away from him, but the emotional abuse she has suffered through has made her suicidal, yet she refuses to leave him because she says she loves him. How do I convince her to leave him and work on her mental health because she has rejected every way I tried to help her. She told me she has blocked another friend of hers thrice because he told her to leave him. I don’t want to come off as creepy or condescending, but I really know what to do. Its really frustrating, I want to walk to her place thousands of miles away and destroy her phone
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She has already demonstrated her willingness to cut someone off if she feels they are being too intrusive on her life. Thousands of women and even some men are or have been in abusive relationships. Among them are many who will deny the abuse or make excuses for it. It’s important to be a good listener, although it can be very hard when listening to a person making excuses for allowing themselves to be hurt, either physically or emotionally.
One attribute that is almost universally common among victims of abuse is low self-esteem and the assumption they don’t deserve better treatment. There is often an element of emotional addiction and codependency. I think the only way to help her is to let her know you will be there for her when she needs you. It is indeed the state of her mental health that’s causing her to rationalize and excuse his bad behavior. She is not ready to accept the reality of her situation. You can’t force her to accept it, and trying to could cause her to cling to him more stubbornly.
As it stands now, the two of you are communicating and she is better off with you in her life even if there is nothing you can say about it that she will accept.
She’s very fortunate to have a friend like you.
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