How trama can still effect us

Dear HeartSupport

Lately I have come to realize that my past relationship trama after 4 years is still affecting me and I am trying to understand why our bodies still remember it.

To give some insight on this. Back in 2018 I was in a emotionally abusive relationship from 2018 to mid 2020 off and on. After it was all over I had healed from that trama and emotional scars. But I still got triggered everytime I saw that ex who emotionally abused me at my college I go to. But overtime I started to heal more and got into my first healthy relationship. After that everything was alright. Aside from getting triggered and my body start to shake everytime that ex was near me. But after my last relationship ended last year and I moved on from that. I still was triggered but on a more deeper level before I started to have panic attacks a few times but afterwards I was ok. Because I have friends who helped me clam down.

Now going onto today in the present day. I’m now with a new boyfriend :blush:who rlly loves me and treats me so amazing good beautiful. But back at college everytime I was with my boyfriend and my abusive ex was around I started to have bad panic attacks and my boyfriend always helps me clam down by holding me in his arms making me feel really safe. But after my abusive ex left the college earlier this year I finally thought :thought_balloon: those panic attacks were gone for good but I realized there not because I woke up one morning and was having a panic attack because I had a dream my abusive ex was standing in the same room with me and my boyfriend wasn’t there with me to help me clam down.

How can I get these panic attacks to stop for good and to help my body fully heal those past tramas?.

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From: jezliee (Twitch)

i’d imagine it’s really really hard to get rid of those learned responses. your mind and body created a response while in that relationship, and i think you still experiencing them is a reminder of how deeply we effect people we meet, for better or worse. it’s almost like your body is still working out the injustice and the pain, but it’s like a trap. you’re with a great guy now, what about a list about how your current boyfriend is different you can read through any time you need?

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Hello Lex,

I am so sorry that you went through all of the emotional rollercoaster that you have been dealing with. I am proud of you for reaching out to HeartSupport for love & support. I am thankful that you have someone in your life to help you work through all of your emotions & panic attacks.

Give yourself time & space to heal. I used to have panic attacks after the emotional abuse I suffered through college. Find a professional you trust to work things through. Find a hobby that you have wanted to start & see if that helps you. Create sunshine & joy to look forward to each day.

You are amazing. You are valid. You are enough. You are strong. You matter.

-StarFox :yellow_heart:

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Hey Legacylex,

Megs_26 responded to your topic today on stream with some wonderful words of support and love!

Here is a link to her reply you can watch anytime you need to,

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Thank you for the video is was honestly very helpful.

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I agree with everyone your saying and that does make a lot of sense. I like the idea you suggested of writing things down my boyfriend does that I can look at and remind myself how good he is to me.

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Thank you for the help :blush:. There are things I do to help me. Like I see a counseling at my college and it’s very helpful. But I still get flashbacks from that Emotional abuse from time to time. But hopefully over time my body will start to heal fully.

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