Last night I came upon the final straw that broke my back. I learned my ex had fully moved on and was actively trying to see others. It broke me completely as I had many other things that occurred. It was a huge slap in the face and made me feel unlovable and as if I was worthless and temporary. I cut myself last night and actively thought of killing myself. I ended up going to the hospital and got put into psych.
I’m out now (obviously) and I’ve just numbed myself to it all. I know it won’t last but for now I’m just existing. I’m just scared of it happening again and if it’s late and no one answers my calls what I will do. I can honestly say that if one of my friends hadn’t answered me then chances are I wouldn’t have woken up this morning or ever again.