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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to Left Behind by Slipknot
I am 32 years old I was the First first responder on scene to my wife’s suicide GSW. I do feel left behind She is forever 30 may 31 2024
I am so very sorry that you lost your wife and that you unfortunately were the first one to respond to that one phone call you never want to receive.
It’s totally understandable that you feel left behind, I do hope you dont feel like you are the one who let it slip away. Like Taylor says you can be consumed by the loss, the emotions surrounding the suicide, the feelings of guilt and anger and sadness and grief and trying to figure out why it happened.
I hope like Taylor says, that you have somebody that can help you to process what happened and somehow find your purpose. Even when at this moment that probably feels like a bridge too far.
Hold fast friend.
I can only imagine the shock and immense pain you have gone through finding your wife like that. My heart is with you friend and I wish I could alleviate the pain.
It’s so hard to process this tragic incident. It is a nightmare to live everyday with the memories of that moment. All those heavy feelings coming over you, making you feel like she left you behind. If she chose this as a last option it means that she must have been in such a big pain that she couldn’t think of any other way out. Being suicidal gives so many dark feelings that it
makes it so overwhelming and so hard to think clear, to think and to see the others that we love, to realize the pain we will cause to them.
This hole left in your heart probably will never heal, but it can hurt less in time. You can still cherish her memories and the love she had for you along the years. Keep her in your heart.
I really hope that you will find a way to learn to live again, and to love again if that’s what you wish. Hold fast! -R