This is probably going to end up with me just talking and not making much sense, but I think it might be helpful. I am lonely, almost all the time. I work, I come home, eat dinner, go to bed and then do it all over again the next day. I miss having connections as I had a few years ago. I hate feeling needy or clingy or filling in the black with something along those lines.
I don’t do much on the weekends. I don’t have any IRL friends. I thought if I got married, I probably wouldn’t have anyone to stand next to me. I am such a loner and I don’t know how to change it. I cry about how lonely quite often. I wish I was memorable sometimes, but I also don’t want to be a burden to anyone. I wish I had someone who checked on me throughout the day or texted me a ‘Good morning’ kind of text. Ugh, depression sucks sometimes. I am sorry.
Being honest here, you shouldn’t feel sorry. This is a form where people can talk to each other and post their feelings freely without judgement, so don’t feel obligated to post how you’re feeling.
I’m sorry that I can’t think of a lot to say about this, but we can agree on one thing at least…
Im sorry that you are going through a difficult time. Loneliness sucks…truly.
Dont feel sorry though! Been in the same boat somewhat. Is there any friend (long lost is also fine) that you can simply send a ‘hi’ to?
Hi StarFox,
i can relate a lot to that. Over the last years, also the years before corona i was very lonely.
Work, eat, maybe gaming or streaming, sleep, repeat. Also nearly zero social activities. Only a
few friends, which i saw very rarely, also my family.
It is truly very hard and i can say to you, that you are definetly no burden. It will come to places.
Reach out, find joy in little things first and you will see that everything matters. So you my friend.
I am proud of you, reaching out to us, we will always be here for you, if you need a talk i will be there for
you, even if i am stinky like you said.
You are such a kind heart and showed that to us in our SWAT meetings, that people who will know you
will see when you let them.
Take little steps forwards, you are worth every of it.
Thank you, i hope you will have a nice day and feel stinky hugged
Greetings
oh my dear friend,
you are such a powerhouse of love, giggles and insight!
What’s the best way to meet new folks irl? You know I’m gonna say local group, hobby-based groups. I can see how you’ve gotten into a routine that feels a bit empty, so let’s see how you can infuse some change into the daily routine. Local bands playing at a club or pub? Book club meetings? Fun quirky game nights at college style bars?
If your swat fam could be there in person, you know we would be! We are all here to stand beside you in thought and word, and I’m here if you ever need to share the weight of the loneliness. The only way out of the loneliness is to reach a tentative hand out.
Your worth is not determined by your rolodex, friend, don’t you ever forget that. You’re loved, and you matter so much to us here.
starfox the beautiful soul that lights up an entire swat in a single second!
Starfox the one who makes us all laugh and brings such a joy wherever she goes.
The most memorable starfox because she is the only one.
I know those thoughts and have kept them company for many lonely nights. I know those voices that whisper that you’re not going to have any impact and that nobody truely cares. You’re just a burden… I’m here to tell them to SHUT THE HELL UP. Seriously, scream it out if you need to. The only burden is the pressure those voices are pushing down on you.
I’m so happy you have the hs community, and I do hope that you find some meaningful connections out in the world around you too. I’ve come to find over the years that feeling unwanted and feeling that nobody would want to pay attention is not a comforting feeling to hold onto alone at night and never share. I’ve found that telling the people around me that I feel disconnected has actually helped me feel more connected. That when I say “I miss you, I’m sorry I have been in a bad place so we haven’t spoken much” they often say they also felt like I didn’t want to talk because I was quiet and isolating.
as ironic as it is, you’re not alone in feeling alone. I do hope that you’re giving yourself a bit of a break and being gentle with yourself.
Take care of yourself
Hey StarFox,
the feeling of loneliness can really swallow you and drain all energy, I completely understand. It is not easy to change, and taking the first step is the hardest. Would it be an option to rekindle those connections you’ve had a few years ago, and maybe reach out to them? You are not needy or clingy, humans are social creatures and we all need others, that is not a bad thing. I know this feeling of not wanting to be a burden to someone. Before I reach out to others I usually contemplate for a long time, because I don’t want to annoy, bother, burden, disturb, bore others etc. But you are not a burden! And honestly to me you are very memorable, when I saw who the author of this post was I thought to myself, oh it’s that kind person with the friendly voice from Swat, I remember her.
It is really difficult to break the cycle, but it is definitely worth a try. Maybe you can look for a new hobby or passion, something you enjoy and can do after work or on the weekends. It might be an opportunity to meet new people. I am not very good at finding friends or meeting new people, so I might not be the best person to give advice. But what I do know is: even if you feel all alone in the world, you are not. There are people who love you and care about you. This community for example is so warm and welcoming and the people here really appreciate you. Please don’t lose hope.
And if the depressions becomes too much to bear I hope you will seek out professional help and reach out.
