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Belongs to: Therapist analyzes Su!cIde by Ren
I am not a cryer, but this song gives me that choking feeling in my throat and my eyes tense up ready for the tears that never come.
I have lost 2 friends to suicide and this just hits so hard.
Music is so universal and people interpret it different ways. I’m the same with you for not being a cryer. There will be a few songs that might almost make me cry. I’m sorry for your loss for two friends from suicide. It must have been hard for you. Just remember to take your time to grief even it takes many months or years to heal. Your friend will always appreciate you for supporting them. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you did the best you can as a friend. Let me know if you need any support from me!
Thank you for opening up to us, i’m do sorry to hear that you’ve lost such close people in your life. one thing i’ve learned that came as a surprise to me is that crying is actually a positive coping skill. our bodies need to process our emotions, and crying means we’re dealing with it in a healthy way. healing is not a quick process, nor is it linear. allow yourself to feel the hurt and whatever other emotions may come your way. at heartsupport we’ll be here for you every step of the way. you are so loved
It hits in such a special way when a music like this one resonates with the losses you’ve suffered, and still carry with you. It’s a type of wound that seems so invisible yet takes so much space at the same time in one’s heart. For what it’s worth, I relate to the feelings you’ve shared here and especially how it manifests in your body. This ache in the heart and sensation that your throat become so tight that air doesn’t seem to flow naturally through it anymore. That it requires actual efforts, time and attention to revert back to a more still state.
It takes so much energy to keep yourself together when pain hits like a sudden wave, but also to let the tears flow at some point and allow yourself to feel it all. It’s understandable that your body would try to contain them, for the pain that resides behind those sensations is very deep. Letting it out feels like being carried into an intense tornado, and our minds naturally choose to contain that away as much as possible. It’s a powerful way to protect ourselves, even if it’s particularly disheartening and disturbing at times.
The tears will come in due time, when you will feel safe enough to let them out. In the meantime, you can be proud of yourself for being aware of the way you feel, for putting words on it and opening up about it here in the comments section. I know it may not seem like much, but it is very brave to actually take time to sit with the way you feel, to allow yourself to feel the pain - no matter how intense or muted it could be as a result. The fact that you’ve dedicated one minute or one hour to pay attention to it is already huge, even if it wasn’t your decision at first. The love you have for your friends is very deep, very real, and this pain is yet another manifestation of it. We’re in this with you. 