oh wow, i wasnt expecting to get any new replies. Thanks for that!
I have been doing the whole “engaging in activities that bring me comfort and calm my mind” thing- it has worked, to an extent. For one, I am now not constantly terrified, just usually scared, yes, even when im doing comforting things, unless its just something i can completely escape into. When im not doing things, i feel… icky, i suppose, would be the best descriptor. Maybe anxious, though anxious isnt the right word at all. Not quite fear, or terror, or anxiety, just generally scared, i suppose. But its much preferable to how i was when i made this original post.
ANYWAYs i kinda just went on a somewhat random rant, sorry about that. 2 more things i want to say. First (or second? considering i have already had a “for one”…) i should’ve probably mentioned- im not going to seriously hurt myself. usually its just scratching. sometimes i let my cat scratch me. And secondly, i definitely should tell someone, i know that, but i probably wont, because honestly, its gotten better on its own already, so theres a pretty decent chance it’ll just go away on its own, probably.
Quick Update again (Surely there is a way to do this differently…): I will definitely not be telling my mom about this, probably within the month. She is very overwhelmed rn, and im not adding to that. So ill probably wait.
sigh. idk why but my feelings are changing a lot right now. im back to what i initially described, and i really dont know how to deal with this, so im telling my mom.
I am sorry to hear you seem to be feeling worse. And I am glad you will tell your mom. I hope she will be able to provide the support you need.
HI Ana i have never posted or been on any sights. welcome to life. it is scary. this is my first sight and post. i have almost ended my self more than once more then twice more then three times.no one knows. life is to precious, yours is to precious i servived by chance. we all need some one to connect with.
some one we can trust compleatly. some one that cares for you and what happens to you.
My heart goes out to you. my love goes out to you. it would crush me if some thing happened to you.
if you feel over wellmed please reach out. i will always try to be here for you.
i did tell her- i gave her a lil notecard with all the essential information. She hasn’t mentioned it. So now i have absolutely no idea what to do. The good thing is that when i have a panic attack, or breakdown, or whatever, afterwards i feel very much better
I hope telling her everything works out what, the ball is her court. see how she responds. you will find out if she is going to be helpful or critical of you.
im giving her the notecard again- i noticed that she just kinda left it on the ground, which i think is because i put it face down and giving her a random note card and then leaving is totally in character.
sadly, that cant happen until tomorrow, cos my brother is home today. </3 I’ll have to go insane for another day, but im pretty optimistic. Like if i can get through tomorrow, ill be on the road to being better!
hopefully tomorrow is one of those days that i just feel very happy to be alive, rather than scared of being alive or that i’ll be dead
I told her, now. She doesn’t know the full story, and im no better yet. It really didn’t change anything, yet. Eventually she’ll get me in therapy and hopefully that’ll help me get better.
Don’t be scared, your not alone. When you are scared and afraid think of me being there to hold and protect you. talk to me as if i were there next to you. always there to calm your fears. reach out to a councilor at school. find one with a open heart. one you can trust. one that won’t just analyze you but one that feels your pain. I am always here for you.
I don’t know if it will help or not. I watched the movie V . It is how a women over came her fear.
hopefully my last update: i’ve felt almost fine for the last 2 days, which is actually awesome and the first time in a while. Not once in the last 2 days have i felt even close to a panic attack. Some of my panic attack avoiding habits are remaining though, but that’ll probably fade with time. Im no longer cautiously optimistic- just plain optimistic. : D
I am so happy for you.