I’ve never ever thought of suicide. Never even considered it. But this is me today, wanting to end it all. I’m tired of the world. I want to leave. I want to go back to my creator, cause is all the pain worth it? Is it ever worth it? . I don’t want to be happy in the long run. I want to be happy now. What’s wrong with that? Anytime something starts working out for me it all comes crashing down. I’m tired, I’m genuinely tired of it all.
7 Likes
Hey @thorazabini, welcome to Heart Support! Hope that this can be a community where you feel loved and supported. Thank you so much for being here and sharing because that takes a lot of strength.
I’m so sorry to hear about everything you’re going through, friend. I’ve also been tired of things, so I can relate at least a bit with what you are going through and know how much that can suck, so I’m sorry. I’m glad that you’re here and I’m glad this world has you in it. I know I’m some stranger on the internet, but I truly mean that and I truly want you to be happy. I know it’s easy and cliche to say that it will get better, but I believe that it will and I also believe that what is true today doesn’t have to be true tomorrow.
Feel free to reach out to me if you ever need someone to talk to. This community has been great for me and has helped a lot, so I’m glad that you are a part of it and I hope that we can help support you. I posted some resources below that might be helpful for you if you continue to have some of those thoughts. You are not alone 
Crisis text line - text HOME to 741741
Suicide hotline - 1-800-273-8255
National suicide prevention chat - http://chat.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx
4 Likes
Thank you Brandon🤍. I genuinely hope I find peace in this community too.
4 Likes
From: kittyinthewindow (Twitch)
I have so much compassion for what you are going through and I feel that you have every right to be feeling this way. In my personal experience it seems that most suicidal ideation or thoughts really stem from the desire to be out of pain and I pray that this will happen for you- some relief from your pain so that you can live a happy existence right now, or before too long.
2 Likes
From: kathleen99 (Twitch)
This post really spoke strongly to me, that it’s about being so exhausted, so burnt out, so done, and so devoid of hope. it’s an awful place to be, and I find myself there a lot. but I somehow keep going, and some days I’m not sure why. but I do. and then something reminds me why I’m still here, for the joy, for the beauty, for the growth, for just being alive. because once it’s done, it’s done forever. and I don’t want that. and I hope you don’t either. thank you for sharing
2 Likes
From: wowingme (Twitch)
It will get better. I promise. Sometimes we need to take 15 minutes at the time, and if that is too long 10, or 5, or even to 10 seconds - and get through it. I have a sign on my wall that says “Get up, survive, go to bed”. It helps me. <3
2 Likes
You are loved, you matter, and you are cared for greatly! I want you to know you are worthy of life, and you are worthy of a fulfilling life. The path you are on is not an easy one but you have shared it with us and it is so amazing that you have. Thank you for that. The long term joy can be so hard to look towards and looking at what’s going on in this moment is so relatable to me. It is so easy to get into a darkness there but it will come to pass, and the difficulty is that it takes some time. But there are so many ways to have help. I would suggest you talk to a therapist or counselor about this, this will really help give you positive options. You are of value and worth, you deserve the help you can get.
You are loved so much, you matter, you are cared for!
2 Likes
Hello thorazabini,
I want to first say that I am super proud of you for reaching out in your time of need. It takes a lot of courage to say to other random people on the internet that you need some help.
Secondly, thoughts like this can come and go. I suffer from depression with thoughts like this but I had reached out to my doctor and let them know what was happening with me. You are not alone. Know you have friends here that care about you.
Is there anything we can do to support you?
<3 Zeph
2 Likes
Hey @thorazabini , Dan and Casey discussed your topic on the Twitch live stream. Here’s the live video response.
Hold fast
3 Likes
Hi, im so sorry you feel this way. I know the feeling to well. I guess we need to just hold on and believe things will get better.
2 Likes
This topic was automatically closed after 365 days. New replies are no longer allowed.