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Belongs to: Therapist Reacts to Falling Away From Me By KORN
I been in and out of hospital for so long 18 to 36 so far but idk what else to do
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I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been having so many ups and downs for such a long time. I understand that this must be so draining to be dealing with such a struggle. Through everything, you have been resilient. You are an overcome and a fighter. People like you are what makes us truly human and proud to be human. Growth is not something that is linear, you can have days where you feel like you’re on the top of your world and the next be spiraling worse than ever before. Our power lies in simply taking the first step, picking ourself up off the floor and lifting up our heads. Through your struggles, you have learned true perseverance and found yourself. You are more than just an overcomer. It is never too late to start anew. Please continue to talk with us at HeartSupport, we will be with you every step of the way. You are so amazing and so deeply loved <3
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I am so sorry to hear that you’ve had such a long journey with mental health crises. Getting to the point that hospitalization is the only setting to keep yourself safe may at first feel like a drastic measure, but it has helped you stay alive today! I for one am so grateful you’re still here. I’ve been hospitalized three times and each had different reasons or purposes. While it was extremely traumatic, without those experiences, I may not have had the breakthroughs that led to future healing. It is a tough road, but with each wind, with each turn, and each mountain, you see new views. It feels awful to feel stuck in cycles we can’t get out of and to not know our way through the fog. I am sorry you have felt stuck in those things for so long that the road winds up ahead in the same patterns and cycles-- seeing the same trees and feeling lost and not knowing where you’re going. I’ve been there. I have felt so lost and stuck that I thought there was utterly no way out or through. I thought I would never be able to see clearly or have any type of future. With those hospitalizations, I thought that defined me and I was just stuck with those diagnosis and those ways of being and existing in the world. However, that is not the end.
The desperation and hopelessness and cycles are not the end. Because, with each day, you can choose little changes in your awareness and habits. The tiniest things build up and become bigger. One day you’ll realize how far you’ve come. Give yourself grace and all the patience you can muster in this process. You are fighting demons no one knows about-- so keep up the fight because one day you’ll realize the voices have no power over you. They are utter lies meant to steal your joy. You will have joy again. And I believe you will find healing. I found it in the unconditional love and acceptance of Jesus. He didn’t see my lost-ness as a reason to overlook me, but actually met me in the darkest pit of despair. He showed me that life is worth living because I can live for Him and love others.
Whatever your reason to hope is, I know you will find it. I believe there is so much better in store for you than these cycles of hospitalization and hopelessness and mental illness symptoms. I pray you find healing and wholeness. Reach out anytime. I am so proud of you for making it this far!! Keep going and don’t give up! <3
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