This is a topic from YOUTUBE. Reply as normal, and we will post it to the user on YouTube.
Belongs to: Know Your Enemy
I believe I’m not good enough but I’m tired of struggling to make everybody believe I am and keep them happy. I’m ready to move to the mountains and be a hermit with my horse and dogs.
I hear that, as the 32yr Electrician in the shop everyone looks at me for knowledge and direction, even the license holder, who was my helper 15yrs ago. I feel often these feelings of being an imposter, that I don’t belong in my position and I to often want to just escape so that my failure to perform the role doesn’t end badly for lots of people.
Then I remember something that Neil DeGrasse has said about it being more likely of not being born than being born. That just 10 generations back includes over 2000 people are involved. That the genetics of me has traveled over 200,000yrs to win a race against thousands of others at conception.
I have to be good enough and all I need to do is step up everyday and claim my prize. It is easier to step up some days than it is others. So I just show up everyday and do the best I can and should there be any failure than I know that because Uhg didn’t fail so badly 200,000yrs ago nothing I fail at can’t be fixed. Cause it’s only failure if I quit trying. Uhg didn’t quit hiding from cave bears and saber tooth cats I have no reason to quit.
Hi there friend,
I hear what you are going through and I can really relate to those feelings. It is so disheartening to feel our true, authentic self isn’t being valued or heard by those we surround ourself by. I completely understand feeling like despite your best efforts, it’s never enough and there is always more that can be done. A big reason this could be happening is due to self-doubt and perfectionistic tendencies, which is something that I sometimes struggle with, and hyperfixating on small details that have no long-term impacts and shouldn’t influence our interpersonal relationships, but we give them power and influence over us and feel the need to continue working on them until it destroys us and our feelings of self-worth.
An important thing is that you don’t have to keep living for others. You don’t have to keep living a certain way just to please everyone else. It could be a positive influence in your life really prioritize doing more things that make you feel happy and like you, and practicing empathy when you find those things that bring you joy. The right people will stick by and support you and your preferences, personality and hobbies as they are. Once you realize that living for yourself is possible, you can try to find ways to make that your lifestyle. It takes a long time and it’s not easy - it’s something we all struggle with at some point in life. But to find real happiness and reach your full potential, it might help to reframe your outlook on life and retrain your mind to be accepting of yourself as you are.
Try to let go and let things be - because you can never please everyone. There will always be things you can change, or opinions people have that will make you rethink your choices and opinions. And if that change in your life that you need to find real happiness is moving away and spending time with animals - that’s fine too. But maybe before resorting to that, you could try to implement some smaller changes and practice some positive self talk to shift from caring more about how others perceive you than how you perceive yourself.
And you are absolutely good enough! It might be hard to feel that way, and you can always work towards the goals you have for yourself. We will never be perfect in every way and it is good to keep challenging ourselves to improve within reason. But it becomes detrimental when it is all we think and can’t take credit or commend ourselves for all the accomplishments we’ve made. It might take time, but I hope you can come to terms with the fact that you are good enough and very valued and loved. You are capable of anything you set your mind to. I wish you all the best on this journey and I know everything will work out!
Please feel free to reach out again, we’re always here to listen!
Hey there,
First off I just want to say thank you for being open with us here, we appreciate it and don’t take it for granted.
I can relate to you to an extent here. I have had struggles with feeling not good enough for many years, it has taken time and work but I have come to see that it is not really important what others think of me, it is more important of what I think of me- that I think I am good enough, I believe I am worthy of good things.
Please know that you are not alone in this, there are people who will listen and people who care.
Some things that give me hope to keep going are art and music, what are those for you? Through those things I have been able to find myself, and been able to express myself.
The main thing you need to take care of is you, it doesn’t matter what others think about you. You have to be happy with yourself.
Sending love, I believe in you!
With love,
Lys