This week i decided was the time to tell my parents about everything about the self harm, everything. .
Then i started to think about it and i realized how strict my parents were about EVERYTHING and how i might get in trouble to the point where they will take all my things. They took my phone away a while ago and still haven’t gave it back after two years. (i got it taken for talking to a boy, not dating but talking).
But anyways i was talking to my sister and she had said “You probably shouldn’t tell them cuz they aren’t going to change and you might get in trouble”
This was the hardest thing i have ever had to hear. i had already written a letter to give my parents but then when she told me i ripped up my letter and i was so mad.
i dont know what to do because they will get mad at me and it’s so hard knowing i can’t go to my parents when i was actually ready to tell them i dont know what to do anymore i don’t wanna be here
i’ve never trusted them
i feel like im getting worse and no ones there to help me
it doesn’t help the fact that they havent even noticed anything wrong or off about me
… i know how you feel. a month ago someone i trusted told my mom about my depression and self harm. she got so mad. but it’s really up to you if you tell them. yes, they may get mad. but if you think it’s time to tell them then… it is. and… i hate to say it… but some parents don’t notice if their child are acting strange or diffrent. some parents are strict. your not alone.
Hey @Sandia,
That’s really brave of you to decide to open up about self-harm. It’s a great decision that requires a lot of strength. It’s very positive to hear that you intend to do that. I’m sorry though, that you don’t feel like you can actually talk about your struggles with your parents. I’ve been there with my own parents as I grew up. It was hard to feel like I didn’t have the right to express myself. Like my only option was to be silent and let my pain be invisible, as much as possible. It felt like no one really cared about me.
It sounds that your relationship with your parents is a little tense right now. I don’t know them, nor your relationship precisely, but you are the only one here to know what you could expect from them. This decision of reaching out to them has to be your own. But also, I guess it’s important to keep in my mind a few things. First off, you have the absolute right to share about how you feel and ask for help. Whether their reaction is what you expect or not, you have the right to share about how you feel, to be supported and loved as you deserve. Being open about what’s going on is, in itself, always a good thing as it allows you to be supported and to feel less alone.
But also, their reaction may be not the one you’d expect. We expect our parents to be caring and supportive, but it’s not always the case unfortunately. So, you still have the possibility to reach out, but you have to be prepared for every possibility and also what you expect from that. Do you want them to listen? To understand? To help you to seek for some help outside of your family? When you know “why” you reach out, it can make it easier for you to ancitipate others reactions, but also to keep in mind that you’re doing the right thing.
Unfortunately, there’s a lot of stigmas around self-harm, and mental health in general. Maybe something that could help you to find some ways to connect with your parents could be found in the book ReWrite. There’s a chapter in it about common stigmas related to self-harm. But also, the book is adressed to people who use self-harm as a way to cope and to their friends and family who are willing to help or, at least, to understand. Maybe you could find some tools in it to learn to communicate with them about this subject. You can get more informations about the book on the Heartsupport Resources here: heartsupport.com/resources. But also, I recommend you to have a look at the ReWrite section here on the Support Wall, where you can watch the videos and have an idea of which content you could expect from it: https://forum.heartsupport.com/c/growth/rewrite
No matter what your decision is, we’ll support you through this. You have a safety net right here in this community. You don’t have to go through all of this by yourself. 
i just feel like it’s not right that i can’t even go to my parents and it’s stressing me out because if i get in trouble then im gonna feel worse and not want to be here even more
It’s not right, indeed. A parent should be someone who makes you feel safe, who encourages you to express yourself if you’re not okay. Sometimes they even have the best intentions but don’t really know how to express their love the right way.
I hope your relationship with them will improve with time, and certainly with a lot of communication as well. I know it’s very disappointing to be in this situation. To have these doubts about their possible reaction. You have to weigh the pros and cons. Also to learn to protect yourself in case you decide to talk to them but their reaction wouldn’t be the right one.
Know that in any case, we - as a community - are here for you too. To support you as much as possible. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. You are loved. And you are not alone right now.
Thank you for responding
Yes i know it is up to me but it’s hard even making a desicion knowing there could be consequences and i am sorry you went through some thing similar.
there will always be consequences. just understand. and don’t be sorry it only got worse.