I can relate to the message of this song or rather

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Belongs to: Therapist Reacts to Dying Song by Slipknot
I can relate to the message of this song. Or rather, the feelings its talking about. I have been struggling mentally for years now, but I’ve always kept my head above the water by trying to work on myself. After years of no results, my pool of support is getting smaller and I keep hearing the same things, the same things I have been trying and failing at for years. And it feels like drowning, like every time I manage to get my head above the water, someone says, “You should work on your swimming, you’ll never make it until you can swim better.”

And its so frustrating, because I can see what they’re saying is correct, but its not helpful. And it feels dismissive, like I somehow knowingly put myself in this position.

Sometimes I want to stop asking for help, because the help I get isn’t the help I need.

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Gosh, friend, what you describe is so relatable. It’s so disappointing when you reach out to people but it is not met the way you needed or wanted in the first place. In itself, it already takes a serious amount of energy to strech your own comfort zone in order to reach out and say “I need help”. It’s not the most wanted nor easiest step to take for anyone. But then to feel like these efforts were somehow in vain because the result doesn’t add any particular value to your situation… it’s rough to be in that place. It’s like you’re running a marathon and devoting all your energy to get to the finish line, hoping that there you’ll find some water to drink and a place to rest. But in reality you meet people who kind of tell you “nothing to see here, keep running!”. Ugh, so frustrating.

What you describe especially reminds of these memes we can see online but are from personal experiences of unsuccessful, even disappointing “reach out” situations. One would be someone with depression asking for emotional support, advice or guidance, and be responded to with a “have you tried meditation?”. A part of you just wants to answer “duh” with a big sigh, then on the other hand you don’t want to be ungrateful or dismiss the genuine care that others have in their heart. It’s just hard to feel like in the midst of your battles and while you are sharing your voice, people don’t hear you, or even worse that they don’t listen. As you said so well, it’s the kind of reaction that makes you feel even more alone, even more misunderstood, even more helpless if not hopeless. It also makes you feel like people assume you haven’t tried already to help yourself, that you haven’t explored different solutions and ways to cope.

Somehow, I feel like this is part of the unfortunate experiences and interactions we often have when we are struggling and ask for help. We are confronted to the reality that not everyone is equipped to listen, not everyone is equipped to hear, not everyone is equipped to advise eventually. Some people want to fix a situation for us while we need an ear to listen. Others will share ideas we already thought of. Then you start asking yourself if you can even be helped at all, or if you’re just doomed to suffer endlessly. It’s a vicious cycle.

If anything, I want to really commend you for your resilience, perseverance and bravery there. It may feel discouraging, pointless or even like it makes everything worse. Although each time you’ve reached out, you were doing it for yourself, which is in itself a beautiful act of love and care for yourself. You are actively showing up for yourself. You could dismiss your pain, choose to hide - and man you were given somehow reasons to react that way furthermore. But you didn’t, and you keep trying. That is truly strong and wonderful, because all of this, you are doing it for you. And my friend, you are worth all of these steps. You are worth all of the care and support you need.

I hope you’ll continue in trying to find the right place, the right people, the right support. It may take time to find your way, although I’m hopeful that at some point new doors will be opened and something will click differently - in a much better and more meaningful way to you personally.

Hold fast, keep it up, and don’t let these disappointing experiences discourage you from getting help as a whole. You matter so very much. :heart: