I can’t believe my ex friend has block me

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On wenesday my ex friend has block me. I could not let her go. I can’t believe that it gotten to this point. Now she probably think me as a creep now. She want nothing to do with me.

Even thou I’m the one that told her you lost a true friend. She did apologize and wished me well. I wish never had told she lost a true friend. I should have let it go.

It suck I can’t skate to same places that she going. I don’t know how I would react if I see her in public. I don’t if I can’t handle my emotions. I would snap at her if she didn’t say hi to me. My heart would break more.

It sucks that all this therapy, being in a day program, taking the meds, doing DBT skills and everything. I’m still can’t get over her.

I will always be a creep and a loser.


In truth a creep and loser wouldn’t try as hard as you to overcome difficult emotions and make better choices. Yes, you’re in a day program, taking meds, etc. Can you imagine how much more you’d be suffering if you weren’t doing these things? So the mental health interventions have yet to make you happy, but I believe they are keeping you safe and out of trouble.

I remember an old Disney film in which a bear climbed inside a log, then the log rolled downhill and crashed into a tree. The bear came out of the log, a little loopy, but soon got mad as hell at the tree and clawed it to shreds. It’s a classic example of anger displacement. The tree didn’t do anything wrong, but it became the object of the bear’s focus and rage.

Your situation is different, but the same principle applies. There really wasn’t anyone to blame for the bear hitting the tree. It was just an unintended consequence of the bear’s foraging. There’s no rational “blame” to be associated with either her behavior or yours. You are responsible for your behavior, but you can’t blame yourself for having the mental health issues that interfered with your friendship with her. It’s important to try and see it from her perspective. At this point, analyzing the relationship and why it’s faded, only serves to provide wisdom for future use.

When talking about lost loves, one of my professors said, “you never get over it.” If you relive the experience in your mind, it’ll hurt all over again. It’s the same way with death and divorce. Do a bit of research on the “five stages of grief.” It’s a process that ultimately leaves the pain manageable as it becomes part of you. It’s not all bad either. I think it’s highly instrumental in the development of empathy.

Is it really accurate to say she lost a true friend? My impression is that you’ll always care for her and if she needed a friend, you’d be there. It’s okay to love someone you’ll never see again. There are a couple of people in my life like that. I think it happens to everyone.

I don’t think she does, as she did apologize to you. I also think she understands why you told her she lost a true friend. She knows you’re suffering emotionally. With all the stuff you’ve written about her, I suspect she wishes you’d feel better, even though she wants to keep her distance.

I’m glad you come here to vent. It has to help some anyway.

Take care


Keep up the great work with all your therapy and DBT skills, I know its been hard. I’m relay proud of you for sticking with it.


Hey Friend,

I’m terribly sorry that you’re dealing with this right now. @Wings made some incredibly powerful points with regard to this - that this is very painful. Going through life, we will lose friends and loved ones and it’s honestly part of the journey that life is.

In my experience, chasing people and trying to get them to stay around whether it be a friend or a romantic partner only hurt me even more. If we have to chase a person, they weren’t meant to be in our life, but rather teach us a lesson for us to learn from and grow.

What I encourage you to do, is to continue being yourself and living your best life. Keep skating at your favorite spots and let the other person SEE that they lost a good friend. It can be extremely enticing to want to convince them with words that they did, but once they see that you’re thriving - they’ll realize what they lost. The ultimate revenge, is to not take out revenge at all - it’s to be the better person.

Continue working on your therapy and DBT skills. This stuff will help you become an even better version of yourself. Stick to it and watch yourself grow and thrive. These things take time, though. We humans underestimate the power of doing things consistently over time. I’m excited to see how much you grow and thrive through these things!

Stay in there friend! Stay strong and keep living your best life :slight_smile:


Hey @Metalskater1990,

I’m sorry to see that you are having such a hard time right now, but on the other side you are working on getting in a mentally more stable place and that is something that you can 100% be proud of.
Most of the things that I wanted to say were already mentioned by @Wings. When you truly lose someone you love, whether that’s through death or through breaking a relationship with them, you will never truly get over them. The memories will hurt at times because you cared about that person, and that is okay. It’s a part of life. You can’t control how someone else responds to you or how they respond to situations. The only thing you have control over is yourself and how you respond to this situation.
From what I read here, you are already doing a lot with going to the day program, taking your meds and practising the DBT skills. Keep on focusing on the things you can control.
Have you also brought this situation up to your current therapist? What was their response and their advice to do?
I hope you can see that you are working hard on yourself and that you can be proud of yourself for that.
You are loved, friend.


Hi Metalskater1990, welcome back to HeartSupport.

I’m sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time. Things between you and your ex-friend have got quite complicated. It is a shame when friendships end, but it is a natural part of growing up. People change, and things that once made us close no longer seem as important. It doesn’t mean your old friend hates you; you have just grown apart. I hope that you find some comfort in this.

Please don’t let this negatively impact the great work that you have been doing towards your mental health. Stick with your therapy and keep working on your DBT skills. I can relate to your frustration, but you must keep pushing forwards. You are doing fantastic!

Please remember that you are always welcome back at HeartSupport. :hearts: