im just so tired. if my life is going to be this painful and overwhelming constantly then what’s the point of living? ill never be truly happy, truly at peace; well unless i slit my veins open and let my blood volume leave my body. everytime i slip into this dark place i feel less and less scared of death. i dont feel anything right now, just exhaustion. i want to sleep forever. the only reason im writing this is because i have no one to talk to about these thoughts of mine. im too afraid of scaring the crap out of my friends. afraid of everyone paying close attention me like im a danger to myself. well i sort of am so that would be fair. however a while ago i did send a cry for help towards my friend, just a simple “im panicking” text but i haven’t been answered. just makes me think that im no ones priority, no one cares that much about me. i know that sounds entitled of me, its just a constant like everything bad in my sorry excuse for a life. i dont think anything can help me other than being admitted to a psych ward so they can pump me full of drugs so i can’t think. not being able to think sounds nice. sounds easier. thinking has resulted in me sitting here in bed frozen from doing anything that will improve myself. i cant fucking move. i want to but i just can’t. i want this to be over, i want to die.
Hi Helpmeplease. I’m glad you posted. I think have some of the same thoughts and feelings like nobody cares about me. I think posting here is a good idea. It might be good to get these thoughts feelings out. Post again tomorrow!
hi troy, haha i sure was going through it last night… but i do agree that writing out my feelings somewhat helped my headspace by not bottling them up like usual. also im sorry you’re going through similar thoughts too. i do know that its not true that no one cares about me but its just that most of the people in my life dont really show that they care when they do. its also the fact that i feel like i dont have someone to count on at all times which is realistic because that person should be me; i should count on myself?? i dont know, i like really hate myself so i dont know how i could manage that… i still feel sort of the same as last night; empty, but at least im still here i guess?
It is great your still here no question about it. And i know how you feel with not having some one to count on. We can’t always count on ourselfs some times we need some help. Can i ask the reason why u say you hate yourself. You don’t have to answer but i am always here to talk 