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I can't control my emotions, and when those emotions come to me

Almost every day, at any random time I get these feelings of hopelessness, and self hatred and I tell myself I’m worthless, and I’m good for nothing and I’m an awful person…and then about 20 minutes later it goes away completly when I…idk just see something cute, or anything to make me smile



Hey friend,

It sounds that times have been tough for you recently… I’m sorry you’re hurting almost everyday like this. Feeling such hopelesness can be disturbing, scary and draining. Especially when it comes back and forth like this. But your emotions are valid. Somehow, they have a reason to exist. And I guess the fact that you feel this way these days comes from something. Maybe it’s even those thoughts about yourself that make you feel bad?

I’ve been feeling that hopelessness and self hatred in my life, and it took some time for me to understand why, also to learn how to handle those feelings. Your emotions are not necessarily your enemies. They can be considered as red flag, the manifestion of something that isn’t working for you, isn’t fulfilling or satisfying and has to be changed. So I’d llike to ask you: do you have any idea about what makes you feel hopeless and have such difficult thoughts about yourself? You don’t have to reply if you don’t want to. Just know that you are among friends here and there are people willing to support you. :heart:

Sometimes, as we feel lost with our own emotions we also need some external help to regain some perspective and understand the reasons behind. If that’s something you can consider, I’d like to encourage you to give a try to therapy or counseling. It’s not the overall solution, of course, but if you feel like it would be interesting for you to try, then don’t hesitate to do so.

We have some resources here on HeartSupport, such as a free 7-days trial for online counseling through BetterHelp: It could be a first step for you. There are also resources such as workbooks and online articles that you can access through the same link.

I’m not in your shoes but I can relate to those feelings you mentioned. I tend to have self-hatred thoughts regularly. Sometimes it’s pretty intense and disabling. It prevents me to live as I want. So… we don’t know each other, but I can assure you that you’re not worthless or an awful person. Our feelings, thoughts, are not always our best friends. It can be tempting to believe them, especially when we’re hurting or because we struggle to see our own worth. But it doesn’t mean it’s true.

You know, you already did something awesome: you posted here. You took the time to write this message, to reflect on how you feel and what is causing you some trouble these days. That’s a healthy thing to do, a concrete step towards healing. Obivously, here we can’t make that pain go away instantly. But we can support you through this healing journey. We can support each other as much as we can, so we can try to gather all the positive things that may arise along this process. You are not stuck, okay? And you are not alone right now.

Maybe you can already try to take some time for yourself when you feel overwhelmed by your emotions. Sometimes the simplests actions have the most positive effects. What do you like to do generally? What usually brings you some joy, pleasure? What helps you to relax? The answers of those questions might be some precious tools for you right now. :heart:

I’d like to share with you an encouraging video from the HS Youtube channel:

This season of your life isn’t meant to last. You’ll get through it. There’s no wall that you can’t overcome. :heart:

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Hey Bishop,

I feel that. You know, this has been something that I’ve struggled with most of my life. Especially given that I was raised in an environment where a lot of my family, classmates and social surroundings were telling me those things on a regular basis. So it became routine to feel that way and tell myself that and believe it.

I think most of us feel these things sometimes, especially when stress starts to present its self and things begin to feel intense. Our mind begins to tell us lies and trick us into thinking things that are not actually true.

So it’s important that we remind ourselves, while we may feel these things sometimes, it’s not true. Because you are not worthless, you are NOT awful and you are NOT, good for nothing. You matter. Your life matters, your feelings matters and why you feel that ways matters.

So when those things start to kick in, ask yourself what are some reasons that make you feel like that could be true? You are a human being, as such, you will sometimes make mistakes. But that’s okay, that’s how we grow and learn. Making a mistake or messing up doesn’t make us good for nothing. You know?

If you ever start to feel this way, don’t hesitate to reach out so we can talk about it. This community is full of such an amazing group of people, who all battle very similar thoughts and can relate. You are not alone and sometimes we just need to be heard. Here, you can be.

I think it’s good that you have things that can make you feel better. And if it helps you should keep turning to those things.

Just know that you hold value. You are important and you matter.


  • Kitty