I clicked the second i saw this reaction up this h

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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to How Could You Leave Us by NF
I clicked the second I saw this reaction up. This hurts deep. I didn’t lose my mom to pills she was just never able to be a real mom after a while. I’m sure it was a hard being a single mom to three kids but it felt like she chose to put all of her focus into one.

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Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing! We appreciate you being here and opening up! You sound like a great person who is compassionate and empathetic despite being hurt by your mom. I admire you for trying to understand her situation. I feel your pain and it’s completely understandable and valid. It sounds like she focused on one of your siblings and you were put aside or ignored. That’s such a confusing and difficult situation to deal with as a kid. I can relate as I always felt like my parents were disappointed in me and loved my siblings more. As a kid it makes us question what’s wrong with us. But it’s not the kid’s fault, it’s the circumstances of the parent or due to things they are struggling with at the time. It took me a long time to forgive my parents, but once I did it freed me from the emotional baggage I was carrying around. It didn’t mean what they did was ok, it just meant I didn’t take it personally anymore and I was able to see myself differently. I pray you are able to see and appreciate your value and worth as a person and that the pain you feel that runs deep heals. We’re in this together. You are never alone!

I’m so sorry, friend. What you describe is indeed such a painful wound to carry on with you. To have a mom that was present physically, but to feel emotionally that there was this complete disconnection that didn’t allow you to feel loved, supported and cared for while you grew up.

I personally relate to what you describe, as my mom had her own struggles too, and I experienced throughout my life this disconnection with her. It’s hard to know rationally that your parent is there, but that in practice they’re also not “available” for you. It’s even more hard to convey this to others and make your pain understood as people see her, see that you have a mom, and may not fully grasp the actual reality of your relationship. It’s a situation that makes you feel like being forced to witness someone you love sinking away from you, while feeling helpless and having no way to change the situation. You are in front of them with open arms but they keep on living a life where you are not acknowledged the way you needed the most, the way you should have been seen. It’s so hard to experience this as a child, and it’s something that sticks to your skin as an adult. It’s the kind of situation that makes you question your own value, and if ultimately you’re even worth to be loved.

Sending much hugs your way today as you keep on processing and mourning this loss. Know that it doesn’t remain invisible to us here. I see you. I hear your pain. You are not alone, friend, and you will never be defined by the way your parents did or didn’t look at you. :heart: