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Belongs to: Making a therapist cry - one more time blink 182
I connected hard with the lyrics in this song but on a personal level.
The part with “do I have to die to hear you miss me?” because of the relationship between me and my dad which has been none existence since almost 10 years back.
I had a stroke Nov 24th -16 and it was a few years after we lost contact with eachother and my mom made the call to contact him about it because they didnt know if I would be survive the night.
And his answer were basically “no.”. So that part in the song I connected hard with because I feel I maybe have to die for my dad to care about me again.
I have never really been a big fan of Blink-182 but now I respect them on a whole new level.
Wow that has to be so incredibly painful. To feel like even when you were potentially going to lose your life your father couldn’t set aside your conflict to be there with you and for you. It had to feel so lonely and I imagine there is a lot of grief at the relationship you imagined you might have with your father. Sending you love and care. I’m so glad that you survived and are on your healing journey.
Oh friend. My heart breaks for you. I can only imagine how hurtful it must have been to know that your dad refused to see you during a time when you were literally between life and death. It is especially during these circumstances that we would hope for familt to be present - even if distance may have grown between you before, and regardless of what issues could have been present. It is a type of extreme situation that we naturally want to be “off-border”, something that reunites people together rather than divide them.
Even though you were not in contact anymore, he is still your dad and it makes completely sense that you would have expected more once you’ve learned about it. Somehow, it is a grief that you’ve been forced to experience, and being in this position is truly unfair. We want our parents to love us, to care for us, to look at us and to see us… not to have to do or be a certain way in order to gain their attention or care. We expect unconditional love, and that’s the most fair expectation one could have towards their parents. Coming from a broken family where unconditional love was not something my parent knew really, my heart goes out to you. It hurts to feel like something given almost needs to be earned. and if not in face of death, then when? What is actually required? It is such a huge amount of unfair expectations put on your shoulders, and I imagine how much you must have felt like you meant nothing to him. Thankfully, your mom was present, by your side, and she tried too. It sounds like you have a family in her, and even though she will of course never replace the affection you also needed for your dad, I imagine that she is more than willing to love you for two.
I may not know you, but I am so very thankful that you made it through this incredibly scary experience. I hope that, since it happened, you are making sure to take your time to process your dad’s reaction, and to grieve as necessary. Whether he would have been present or not, you have worth and value in this world, and your dad - nor anyone else - will ever define it for you. This world is better with you in it, and you have nothing to prove in order to exist. You matter, because you are. Thank you so much for sharing about your story here. Hopefully, talking about it can help put some gentle bandaids on this wound. Hold fast, friend.
