I cried when i first heard this song every single

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Belongs to: Therapist want to be Happy. By NF
I cried when I first heard this song. Every single dang lyric pulled up more things I had pushed down and expressed exactly how I’ve been feeling for the last four years. The line “But I’m to proud to open up and ask you to pick me up and pull me up out this hole I’m trapped in.” makes me break down everytime, I’ve been calling out to my family for help for four years but nobody seems to hear me. It feels like I’m stuck on mute and no matter how hard I try I can’t crawl out of the stupid hole I let myself fall into or get my voice back. I’m just so tired of fighting just to fall back in again and I don’t know how to get out alone. Especially when the situation that is making me depressed and hopeless is unable to change. I just want to be able to be a kid, I want to be able to make good childhood memories with the small amount of years I have left to do that but every time i think I’m getting better, I’ll have a breakdown again and have to fight my dark thoughts away and go back to being trapped. Sorry for the trauma-dumping @heartsupport lol It feels strange sharing all this I guess and i don’t want to be a burden or annoying.

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Hi friend,

I am proud of you for reaching out and sharing some of your thoughts and feelings with us. I want to emphasize the fact that you never have to worry about being annoying or a burden to us, we are here to listen!

It sounds like you have a lot going on, and I am sorry to hear that your family has not been supportive throughout the experience. One thing I’d like to ask is if you have considered or tried counselling of some sort? You don’t have to go through things alone, and having that outlet I’ve found to be very beneficial. Simply being able to vocalize my thoughts instead of letting them build up inside of me has been very relieving. No matter what though, you can count on us to be a place where you can let things out.

I think it’s also important to point out that growth isn’t linear and that one shouldn’t get frustrated to find themselves back in a dark spot after a period of things getting better. It is a natural cycle, and yes, maybe the good moments won’t last forever, but neither will the bad times! Everything comes and goes, and we just have to try and make the most out of the present moment. I wish you all the best, and remember we are here if you’d like to share more <3

@@HeartSupport Thank u so much! to answer your question I was going to counciling but my parents pulled me out soon after and I haven’t been able to go since.

Of course!! Always here to help<3 And I am sorry to hear that your parents took you out of counselling - would you happen to have access to any services at school or elsewhere that wouldn’t necessarily require them to be aware that you’re going? It can be tricky working around our parents but if you felt like therapy was even slightly beneficial then I believe it is worth a try!

@@HeartSupport Thank you for all the help and giving me a place to vent, I’m unfortunatly homeschooled so I don’t really have any place like that. I might look into something online or reach out to a friend.