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I deserve to take my own life

So this hasnt been the second time i’ve wanted to take my own life and i feel like it wont be the last. what the hell is the purpose of living.
I may have a nice , caring family, nice professors , good pets?
I just feel like i have nothing .
I’m so tired of what direction people are telling me to take.
im tired of people butting in my life telling me i need to do this , to do that with my classes.
Im tired of just everything in general.
im tried of people just assuming that i need help when i got most of it undercontrol.
im just so damn effing tired i just want to live a normal life .
Why the hell does this have to happen to me . I just feel like they are causing me to
not have purpose in my life.
I know i have people that love and care for me but it doesnt feel like it when people butt in and assume shit.
I know this community cares about me and this isnt directed to anyone of you guys its just people in my life that are doing this to me
im so exhausted . I’m trying to remain strong , im trying to fight ,
but this battle is dragging me down to a place where i dont know where i should be. I am getting tired of fighting i just dont know what to do…
I even filled in the first part of the activity that is related to this for my therapist .
I just want to live a normal life , i just want to be done battling my anxiety , my depression.
what the hell can i do if people just keep interfering.
if you want to help just ask .
im legit tired of feeling this way but i can not help it . i just want it to be done and over with . i wish there was a way i could overdose but i know im too stupid to do it :confused:.

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I know this feeling completely. Everybody says that it is selfish to think this way and that there are people that love us. But when we are in this mindset nobody or thing matters. All that is possible to think about is the empty hole we are stuck in. I have been in this hole so much lately. Today I called a loved one and just simply told them that im not doing very good and that their calls just to tell me about their day helps a lot. It shows me that they are reaching out to me and showing me they care by just calling and talking to me. Maybe this will help you too? Im for sure not out of my hole but I definitely feel a little weight taken off my shoulders. I will pray for you because none of us should feel this way. It is so lonely, but just know that you aren’t alone. So many of us would ache to hear if anything bad happened to you.

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thanks for the reply i just feel like a call to a love one wont help .
thanks
-Ashley

I know this feeling way too well. It feels like nothing matters, but you just got to get out of this funk. It might not be easy, but trust me, it’s worth it. Suicide is not the way. Take a long bath, draw a picture, get out of your house. Another good thing to do is to keep socializing. You can fight this, I believe in you. Your feelings are totally valid, and this might be a tough battle, but you can do it!

It can all just be… .exhausting. Everything. I definitely feel that sometimes <3 Even when people really do have good intentions and are trying to be helpful… it can just add to the weight. Just remember that it is ok to need some you time. It is okay to speak up and say you need some time to yourself and some self care. You need to fill yourself up. If you’re constantly pouring yourself out into your work and relationships it will drain you to emptiness. Gotta refill yourself. Take care of you. Stay awesome! Because you are awesome!

You have the ability to kill yourself. This does not mean that you should apply it. A pilot can bail out of an airplane, but then they cannot fly anymore. If you kill yourself you will have to come to terms with being a quitter. You cannot try again.