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Belongs to: Therapist Reacts to THE POT by TOOL
I do relate. But I have to speak for all three of us in here. Muti-personality disorder, it’s a struggle
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Thank you for sharing about your multi-personality disorder. What is your experience like with that?
The song you’re replying to talks about feeling judged, “So who are you to wave your finger
Who are you to wave your fatty fingers at me?” Have you felt judged for your experience with multiple personalities? You say its a struggle-- the cultural misunderstanding and lack of representation about your diagnosis as well as just gross ignorance in general could make it hard for you to feel understood and known by others. I don’t want to assume things about your life that you haven’t described, but imagining life in your shoes I would feel lonely, isolated, and unknown. That would feel like shouting to an empty room-- from trying to turn to person after person to hear but no one understanding. Of people judging and condemning, but no one taking the time to truly care and listen long enough to understand. I don’t know if this is what it’s like for you, but if it is, I hope you know you are not alone. I hope you find acceptance beyond that fat waving finger of judgment. I hope love choosing to stay and listen to you and hear your entire story and heart. I hope that all three of you can find peace in whichever way each side of you needs. When people’s are “eyeballs deep in muddy waters,” not seeing you at all-- blind to the reality of what is-- plank in their eye from their own self-righteousness, I hope you felt loved and seen by the people who matter. I hope you can feel loved and seen by yourself-- each personality. You are worthy of love and acceptance. Each personality is a beautiful reflection of who you are and are sides of a wonderful human being. You are worthy of love and respect. I hope you felt seen and heard here at HeartSupport. Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing and continue to reach out if you would like to speak more on the struggles you face! <3
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Thank you for writing! I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. It’s hard enough to handle your own negative opinions and thoughts when it feels like it’s coming from just one place in your mind. It must hurt so much to feel that way and for it to feel like there is more than one source for those thoughts. It’s like trying to stay above water in the ocean during a storm. One wave crashes and as soon as you get over it, another comes from a completely different direction and blindsides you. It’s hard enough to keep upright in calm seas. Just know that there are people out here who care about you and want to hear what you’re going through.
Sharing my dissonance within.someone is going to hurt me for being vulnerable. I don’t know how to accept praise, I’m seething, always seething. One of us is, the coward, the psychopath, and happy glad hands. The coward stays in bed and throws up over headaches, the psychopath hurts every relationship and thinks his shit don’t stink, and glad hands is so desperate for approval #Loser. I let them take the wheel, society has burned my hands of empathy and grace
I had a terrible car accident which put me in a coma and changed me forever when I was a teenager, By my 20s I thought I had multiple personalities because I was getting two different set of instructions on how to behave. There was the child who I was before the accident and then the adult I was expected to be. I held onto the child for many years refusing to grow up and the adult version of me despised him. Eventually the child in me relinquished control because he could no longer deal with my responsibilities as an adult. With the two combined again I became a stronger person.