I don’t know why I can’t accept the fact that I need help. Everything has consumed my brain yet I know I need help, I just can’t fathom the fact that I do need help. That makes absolutely no sense at all, I know my actions and thoughts are wrong and I know they can change I just simply don’t want to, and it’s so hard for me to voice that. I think that’s just me being stubborn but I don’t know, I truly believe things won’t ever change even though I know they can.
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Welcome to the website, my friend.
I know things may seem impossible now, and I understand perfectly what you’re going through. I know I went through something similar at some point in my life, so you’re not the only to experience this.
I read a bit of your previous topics for context, and it hurts to know what you’ve been through. You’re not a bad person for everything that happened, even if you think you are.
I would never blame you for the actions of others, that’s for certain. You’re a human being just like the rest of the planet, and we’re all going through stuff all the time. While change can be painful to accept, it’s necessary if it means to have a better future.
For now though, just stick around and vent whenever you need to. I’m sure that, with a little patience and support, it will get better.
Just don’t lose your hope.
We’re all here to listen.
-cora
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Hello gh0st_123,
Thank you for sharing with us about some of what you are currently feeling. I first want to applaud you for coming to a place where you acknowledge and know that you need help. This alone is a great first step because there are others that still have not come to this level of awareness within themselves. And also that you can recognize that though you know you need help, there are things that are blocking/preventing you from seeking and pursuing the help that you need. This shows real internal/personal/self awareness.
What you are feeling is something that does 100% make sense. And that I’m sure others have felt and experienced as well. Knowing we need help and believing that we can actually be helped are two different things. Seeking help requires a level of motivation to overcome fears, face scary or unpleasant things, make changes, etc. So there are times, where though we know we need help, it is a hard pill to swallow to accept this realization and to actively work towards getting it.
Maybe some deeper self-reflection into the possible reasons behind why you don’t want to change and why you believe things won’t ever change. I have found that for myself, whenever I’m in a mental place such as this, thinking on topics and questions like those helps me to identify exactly what feelings, fears, thoughts, are keeping me from seeking help or trying to change.
I know it is a tough spot to be in. It creates a constant back and forth internally in your mind and heart. I hope you are able to sort through your feelings about it all. And I just want to let you know that it is okay to take your time to do so. This is all a process and there is never any cut out, straight and narrow path on how to approach things and handle them. All the best! 