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I don’t know how to feel anymore


#1

I know this is stupid, but I don’t know how to feel.
I’ve been emotionally overwhelmed and exhausted.
In the last few weeks I had so many people come up to me to tell me what to do and how to do it, without it being any of their business or right to do so. I didn’t ask for any help, but “advise” is being forced on me, constantly.

I’m worn out, and I just want to be left alone.
But I don’t want to be alone.

I’m trying to fight this inner conflict of being so hurt and done with people, but feeling so lonely and sad. I don’t want to be alone, but I’m tired of people telling me constantly what I do wrong and tell me how to do things differently that they have no knowledge about or I didn’t ask for their advice.

I also don’t know how to feel about the fact that my grandma called me beautiful today, with my unwashed hair, up in a messy bun, in sweatpants.
No one ever tells me that I’m beautiful, because it’s just not true.

Now I’m laying in my bed, crying, because it’s all too much and I don’t know what to do or feel or think.

So many people keep playing with my emotions, and I thought I knew how to stop that, apparition don’t.


#2

Hey Fiji,

First of all thank you for posting and getting all of this out there.

Let me start by saying I understand how you feel when you say you are overwhelmed and exhausted, everyone gets to that point so your thoughts are understandable. As for the people who come up to you and give you advice. I would think that they can see that something is wrong and they are doing their best to help you because they care. I’m not them so I obviously can’t speak for them but try to see things from their perspective. If a friend or family member is down, I’m the first person to try to help and figure out a way to help. Yeah its not my business or my “problem” necessarily but I still care enough to but myself in to help. I also understand what you mean by wanting to be alone but not wanting to be alone. Sometimes when I’m in a bad mood I don’t want to talk to anyone or be around anyone so i can relax but at the same time, i don’t like being alone so i get it.

I don’t know what you look like, but what i can say is that humans are beautiful in their own way. Just because you weren’t all dressed up when you were around your grandmother doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you and can see the good things about you. That is what is most beautiful to her.

My advise to you is to just take a step back from everything and have some person time to just relax. Sometimes taking a break is what is needed to clear your head and give you the motivation to take on the day. Also if you need to talk to someone you can always do in the HS discord or on here.

Hold Fast,
Yummerz


#3

Hi friend,

I so understand that frustration when people offer unwanted advice. I mean, from certain friends who know how to gently approach me and talk to me, I am willing to hear. But in general, it’s hard when people intrude and just lay unwanted opinions, thoughts and advice.

I know sometimes that people just care and want to help. People get concerned and out of love they want to step in and offer some guidance. I guess it always kinda depends on the situation.

Sometimes it can be very intrusive. Other times maybe we need to hear it and need to gain some better perspective or work on attitude change.

I don’t know your situation so I can’t say which situation applies. But I’ve beeb there on both sides. Where I needed to hear it and where people just needed to mind their own business.

I know sometimes when living with parents or roommates that it can often lead to unwanted nagging or advising as well. And parents even when living separated can still be pushy. I know co-workers can be the same.

Whatever it is in your situation, I’m sorry that is happening and making you feel so awful. I hope perhaps you can maybe find a way to talk to whoever is doing this and talk to them about how you feel so that it can stop or improve in whatever way it needs.

How you feel is completely understandable. I have a hard time when people do that to me too.

Much love

  • Kitty

#4

@JustinYummerz @DearKoyangi
Thank you for your reply.

If it would only be that they give me advice because they are I’m not doing so great, but it’s not that.
They just comment on everything I do. For example, I was baking a cake (what I do semi professionally) and then this random lady who was over who had no idea about baking or anything started to comment and give me advice on everything I was doing. Or I was cutting up and serving a cake and someone else kept telling about how I am doing it all wrong. (It’s serving and cutting a cake, what can you do wrong here?).
It things that have nothing to do with how I’m doing or anything, it’s just everything I do.


#5

First things first

You need to understand that other people’s opinions of you are not important.
They have their problems just as much as you do and by saying things like that to you makes them ignorant.
You have to realize that

If you feel alone then all you need to do is make an effort to get yourself out there. Go join a club or volenteer so that way you’ll come across people and they’ll be part of your life.