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I don’t know why I feel this way


#1

I’m at that point where I just want to give up, I just want to be done with everything thing and just go. I feel like a burden on everyone and I find it difficult to reach out to people. I have reached out to my parents before because I generally wanted to get out of my situation, I told them how I had self harmed and my mum just called me a coward and this caused me to feel like she didn’t care. Fast forward a little bit and I was in school and I was going to get changed for p.e. I had a panic attack because I didn’t want anyone to see what I had done to myself, so my friend helped me calm down and gave me the idea to see the school counsellor. I didn’t want to but they insisted that it was for the best. So me and my friend went to the office and I told them how I felt. They rang my mum and she when through my things and found a razor. When I went home we had a long chat about how I felt. My mum said to me “why couldn’t you say they were cat scratches!”. She gave me the impression that she didn’t care, so I gave up trying to reach out. I try to be strong all the time but I’m just sick of trying. All my past attempts of getting help have failed, and I feel like no one takes me seriously. I just want someone who understands. I want this dark cloud to go away.


#2

Hi @Hayley I understand how you feel. I’m in the same position where I can’t tlak to my mom. I’ve been self harming for about five years now. When I told my mom she thought I was doing it for attention. I felt as if she didn’t care. I gave up trying and finding help. Until I found someone that understood me. And there’s is hope and that dark cloud will go away. I promise. If you ever need to talk email me at [email protected] or text me at (813) 278-2927


#3

You’re Mom is thinking too much about her reputation. You should keep reaching out until someone hears your pleads for help. Don’t keep quiet for anyone including your family.

You’re worth it.


#4

Thanks for the responses. I feel better knowing that people understand how I feel. I thought that I was alone. I still want to find help but I don’t have the courage to.


#5

Hey @Hayley! My name is Morgan I am a Intern at HS and first wanted to say how awesome you are and thank you for sharing what you are going through. I just want to say you do have the courage to seek the help you need. Yet i can understand the fear of it. I saw a therapist from when I was five to eighteen years old. I understand that “Im scared of sharing what I am going through feeling” but trust me it will help you in the long run. I seriously believe in you. If you can share what is going on in your life on here you surly and get the help you need. You are so loved! Hold Fast!

Morgan


#6

Hey @Hayley thank you for sharing. I understand how it feels to be pushed aside by family…
I told my parents about my self harm and my mum was like “Come and talk to me whenever you feel you need to do that and we’ll get through it” so i did… and she turned around and just sent me up to my room saying “I’m busy, watching this programme, go and game you’ll be ok” … When my dad saw my scars, he called me an idiot, attention seeker, saying it’s pathetic. That I’m weak and just making up a problem that isn’t there.
My mum studied psychology in one of the best universities (getting her degree i dont know what that level of education is for you guys) and did a whole thing on how to deal with family/friends that are suicidal/self harming and then did that ^ it sucks.

[email protected] < email this and ask for a free ReWrite. ReWrite is a workbook focussed on self-harm recovery and has been very helpful to A LOT of people. Keep reaching out, you’re doing the right things.

Hold Fast,
Kayla


#7

Thanks for sharing, this hits me really hard. I’ve struggled with the same thing in the past and it’s incredibly hard. You don’t deserve to be told those things by your mom, you have no reason to feel any sort of shame because of what you’re going through. We love you and care about you and want to see you grow past this. You deserve to be supported and I hope you find that soon.
You’re worth it, you’re loved, and you matter.


#8

Video Response:

Email me casey AT heartsupport DOT com