I work in a call center for a tech company. I thought it would be a good job and there seems to be opportunities for advancement because a lot of people who started out as agents like me are now higher up and they also just raised our salaries. But I dislike the environment a lot. It seems cliquey and sometimes people talk and joke to each other but not to me. I try to do my own thing and watch things on the computer when I’m not taking calls or read but even then, there is almost always people around me talking and I’m unable to concentrate on what I’m doing.
I am an introvert and a little shy so I feel uncomfortable getting into other people’s conversations and unsure if they’ll even hear or care about what I have to add but then I feel like such a loser during the times I’m just sitting there while almost everyone around me is talking and I feel like I’m the problem and I think that makes me feel insecure and want to just hide in a shell. It feels like no one really cares to get to know me. I have talked to some people around me and i enjoyed it but they never bothered to sort of continue the acquaintanceship with me by reaching out to me again and whatnot. I feel like I want to start looking for another job but I’m also really bummed and sad because I had the feeling and hope that I was going into a great company where I could have a career in and it’s not looking like that anymore.
From: ManekiNeko
welcome to HS Bella! It’s so lovely to meet you and start to get to know you! Oh I empathise so deeply to your situation. It’s so hard to be in a new environment when people are so well cliques together. It’s so easy to feel overlooked. Sometimes people don’t always become aware that people aren’t as extroverted and comfortable as they are. They often forget what it’s like to be new and to not really know people. I’m guilt of it myself.
I think depending on the topic of conversation it’s definitely okay to chime in. Sometimes people are surprised to find common interests with others. Maybe if they’re discussing a show or a book or a new cafe ect.it does sound like you really like what the company has to offer you! I think the situation has less to do with you as a person and more to do with environmental factors such as being at work and seeing people they know and talk to all the time. Perhaps in an out of work environment they’re more relaxed and aware of being social. I found it so important to be involved in outside socialisation to become closer to people at work. It started off as just work Christmas parties. So that’s once a year. From there it became a lunch every now and again. Taking time to make sure to chip in when sending someone a retirement present or a get well card. I know it’s a bit of an unfair balance when it sounds like you’re the one having to put in all the effort, but overtime I think they will come to know you for you and really embrace that.
I think some people get the misconception that shy people don’t want to talk to them. They’re so used to being able to just talk to people and feel comfortable they don’t understand why it’s so hard and painful to break the ice. I hope you take a break this weekend and do something just for you.
Just here to send you some love. This issue you’re having is very valid and it’s important in every aspect of your life to think of what is best for you. I know it’s easier said than done, but a lot of times, when we leave environments that we don’t like but feel uncomfortable leaving or are scared of the unknown, it means something better is coming. And I completely understand if you’re thinking “great, that doesn’t help” but it is true. If it doesn’t work for you, it simply isn’t for you, in my opinion. No matter what you decide to do, you’re always loved and supported. I hope this didn’t seem too harsh or close minded or something, and I hope it helped a tiny bit. Thank you for sharing
Thank you. No, it doesn’t seem harsh at all. I understand taking a chance and doing something else could lead to better things. The worst thing about it rn is just how uncomfortable I feel during times when I’m not taking calls and just feel left out and insecure.
Ahh I see. That’s very frustrating. As someone who is also very shy and very introverted, I understand how hard these environments can be. What do you do outside of work? Do you have a friend group outside of it you can turn to or hang with? Sometimes knowing that you have someone to hang with outside of work or look forward to doing something with a friend helps reassure yourself that you do have someone and can make you feel less alone. Whether you do or don’t, I’d suggest maybe trying to compliment them. I’ve found that complimenting someone’s shirt (that’s always my go to) or jewelry if they’re wearing it or makeup, just anything you notice, it doesn’t have to be a lot. I think starting with small things like compliments shows you’re open to friendships and that you are taking notice of the people around you, and it just helps show that you’re friendly. If I’m in those sorts of situations, I always go for compliments, it doesn’t matter for how long. Whether it be a couple days, weeks, that’s always my conversation go to. And once you get comfortable, maybe try having more of a conversation about it. Say something like “I like your shirt, where did you get it?” Or “your makeup looks so cool! I love that eyeshadow color, it looks so good on you! Did you get it at Sephora?” Or something like that, you know? Just so it shows and gives you a chance to have a small conversation and helps them notice that you can be talked to.
I think shy and introverted people sometimes get a bad rap cuz it makes us seem like we don’t want anything to do with others or we don’t want to be there, but my suggestion is doing the above. If that doesn’t work and in a few weeks you still feel left out, is there someone you notice that may also be a bit quiet or shy like you? Or someone you notice sits by themselves or is left out? Maybe try something like asking them a question about work, and try making a short conversation out of that? In my opinion, it’s all about showing you’re open and can have a conversation.
I hope this helped somewhat. Please feel free to come back here and post whenever you like. Whether it’s an update or a separate post, I’d love to hear from you again
Hello Bella,
welcome to Heart Support and thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Maybe start with connecting to one or two people there and see how it goes. Tell them about it.
With another job this would not change. The colleagues change to better or not.
But give it a try, maybe they then come to you and invite you, talk to you. If you want your peace at
work you can always go to your desk and put your phones on. Step by step.
You will do good.
Have a nice day and feel hugged,
Greetings
From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ
Hello Bella and welcome to Heart Support 
I’m sorry you’re having a hard time socializing with your co-workers. It’s not easy at all being introverted and being in a situation where you have to put yourself out there in order to be apart of the “group”. When there are people around talking and you are sitting there reading a book or working on something, people probably don’t want to interrupt or bother you. This could be why people aren’t talking to you in that case. You have to put yourself out there and only you can decide to do it. If you enjoyed your conversations with the people you have spoken to, then stop by their desk and ask how they are or just say hello. Ask a few of them if they all want to go out for lunch together or hang out after work etc. This lets them know you are available and interested in them. I hope this helps! take care. ~Mystrose
From: Lisalovesfeathers
Hi Friend, Welcome to Heartsupport, thank you for posting, I can so relate to your post, I too am an intovert, I do not do well with people, I do not feel comfortable talking to others, mixing with others or trying to make conversation so I feel for you in that respect, I chose to give up trying and now spend 90% of my time alone which is fine for me but I can tell from how you talk that, that would not work for you and I am glad that is the case because I think you are worth more than sitting inside not mixing with people. I think the fear lf appraoching people is far worse than actually doing it. Most of the time a friendly hey, how are you is a great start, especially when you work with them. If you hear a conversation that interests you, just lean in and say sorry to interrupt but that is intererresting and i thnk…etc etc. before you know it, people will bring you into conversations without you asking. Be careful with your body language too, closing yourself off from people, turning your back on them, head down etc tells people that you do not want to be approached and they are just doing as you are asking. I think with with a few adjustments and a couple of smiles you would be suprised how things could change. I would love to know. best wishes Lisalovesfeathers. x
Hi there Bella! Welcome to the Heartsupport community. 
I really understand you, I am shy and an introvert myself. I have been in the same situation so often, sitting alone reading my book, not having the courage to approach others. I would always be passive and wait for others to reach out first. I completely get that you don’t want to interrupt or “intrude” other conversations.
You said that you have talked to other people who work there before and enjoyed it. But now you wonder why they don’t reach out again. Maybe they don’t want to disturb you because they think you are busy reading a book or watching something. It is possible that you are sending this message through your body language that you wish to be left alone, even if that might not be the case. I have had that happen to me a lot in the past: After starting to talk to people they told me that they didn’t intend to approach me because I gave off the impression that I wanted to be left alone. I know how bad it feels when you just want to hide away and feel very insecure.
But maybe you could start with something simple. If there are people talking around you that you like, you could listen and start with eye contact. If they see that you are interested and listening and looking at them, they might include you in the conversation. Eye contact can start so much.
Or you could approach one of them when there are not too many people around and start a conversation, so you don’t have to speak in front of the whole group, but starting with maybe one or two people.
It sounds to me that the atmosphere in the working environment that makes you feel uncomfortable could be fixed. Another things is that human interaction always goes both ways, other people might also want you to take initiative and make the first move.
I hope you can find the courage to open yourself up a bit more towards others. I wish you all the best, I’m sure you can do it!
Thanks for the advice. See I have had small talk with people, sometimes the same people, and those same people have not really acknowledged me or said things like hey when I come in and whatnot. So it makes me feel like they’re the ones not interested in me and I’ve sort of stopped trying.
I’ve done things like compliment someone’s hair, etc. and that particular person has reached out to me after that to say hi and stuff but then there’s also other people around that they’re closer with that they talk to more often.
When I first started the job, the row I was in was mostly girls. I was getting comfortable talking to them about different things and then a few got moved, now the row has 2 new hires and one guy that moved to the row too, none of which I’m as comfortable with and it also seems like people near me talk to some of the other people in the row more and are closer to them and I just get ignored for the most part. I could join into their conversation but I feel I don’t fit in with them.
Thank you for the advice. I see how other people may think I don’t want to be bothered by my body language but I haven’t just closed myself off. I’ve said hey to people, had small talk with some, complimented someone. The times when I do close myself off and go to reading my book or watching things is when I see and feel like there’s no one for me to talk to. Some of the people I’ve had small talk with have friends there that they’re closer to and I sometimes look over and they’re talking to them or their doing their own thing like watching shows, podcasts, online shopping, etc. so I don’t feel comfortable talking to them so I just do my own thing but then they’ll get into a convo with someone else around me and then I feel uncomfortable and just want to hide because I feel insecure and like I don’t belong.
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