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I don’t want to feel anymore


#1

I’m not lying on the floor crying and wanting to die because of the words my mother spoke.

I’m crying and hoping for death because of how I feel.

I feel worthless.

Like I’m never going to be good enough.

I never DO enough to please people.

I’ll never BE enough.

My mom said she’s so frustrated with my sister and I that she’s be ok if we just moved out.

So I guess I’m just a worthless daughter. I’m nothing.

A part of me just wants to walk into the woods in the middle of winter and never be found.

Why do I feel so much?

To my parents it’s not ok to feel. It’s “just stop” it’s just “get over it”.

I’m not saying this is the best way but to certain people I’m obviously too lazy to amount to anything, so I guess it’d be easiest to just die.

But of course I’m one of the people who is all talk. I was so close last week. I wish I never would have dumped my pills.

No one cares. No one gets it. By that I mean no one in this house.

To them I’m just weak. It’s all I am.

I’m a terrible daughter. Terrible sister. Just weak.


#2

You are NOT WORTHLESS.

You are ENOUGH.

You are NOT a “Nothing”.

You are a SOMEBODY.

You DO NOT need to people please.

DON’T let ANYBODY dictate how you should think of yourself as a person.


#3

OK, you clearly hit rock bottom, no doubt about it. But you still have some energy, because you posted here, which is good. You did a positive thing, because you knew ir was the right thing to do, and I want to urge you to keep doing that. Don’t look down into the bleak darkness of misery, because there is nothing but pain there, and that’s not where you want to be and spend the rest of your life. Instead aim everything you have, everything you do, upwards, to make each day a little better than the last. Start with small things you can manage doing, and break up big, impossible to reach, projectsinto manageble bits. That is how you get out. I’ve been where you were, and I am still climbing, but it’s the way out.

You are not alone.

Martin / ThatOldDutchGuy


#4

We are all weak in one form or another. I am a fraud. I put a smile on my face but I feel like I am suffocating. I endure agony in hopes to prove the people that hate me wrong. Truthfully, who is to say I can? I try to support people because I am thinking if I don’t who will. I’m talking both online & IRL.

There has been times though where I was like “this is too much, I need to focus on myself”. There is almost all the time stuff going on with me. Even when it seems like there isn’t anything going on.

Worthless. Only in the eyes of the beholder. If you only knew the odds of anyone to literally be born into this world. You are worth more than you give yourself credit. I think this perspective I have is the only thing truly preventing me from. “Who are you to tell nature your worth when mathematics and science have determined your birth.”

Odds

of

being

born

at

all


#5

There is always stuff going on, and there always willl be. We alltry to manage through the mist the best we can, as we all keep a smile plastered on our faces to show nothing is wrong, because none of us want to deal with the reality of the emotions. That is life. Happiness is not guaranteed, they are just fleeting moments that make life worth living. Soholdo to those moments, and suffer through the rest. We all do. But next to that it is OK to talk about them at times, like you did here. And that makes you an OK person in my book.

Martin / ThatOldDutchGuy