I dont deserve to be here or alive

I am sitting here writing this , feeling not okay . i want to die . i really don’t want to be here anymore.
why can’t i just die and stop suffering or just let go of everything slowly but painfully.
i feel like i’m just selfish for thinking about this . i just feel like ya’ll are better off without me . i’m just, nothing but not worth of anything.
I’m just feeling full of hurt . and triggered i wanted to hurt myself today and i still kinda want to .
i feel like acid rain is burning on me telling me i cant do it and how i feel like people may not know about my mental health and my anxiety. I feel like I’m breathing out toxic acid that was poured. performing has been hard and my music tests have been hard because of my anxiety this passed Friday i had a small attack on the field not knowing what to do and of course i was m arching yes i knew what i was somewhat at least doing but i kept messing up cause i felt like this attack was consuming my mind . i ended up talking to 3 people, 2 of them gave me the best advice they could but the third person said i should stay on the field because teacher would of been pissed. i feel like i would just be better off dead then alive because i don’t want to waist ya’lls time or my classmates time because of my issues. i don’t feel important and i just don’t want to wast anymore time. i don’t deserve this at all. i don’t deserve you guys. I’m just here filled with toxic feelings. I’m not important.

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you deserve to be alive, and i’m glad you are. we’re here with you through this

You’re not wasting anyone’s time. You are important and most certainly deserve to be alive! You’re struggling right now, and that’s okay. It may seem like nothing is going right currently, but please know, that this world is not better off without you.
Take care of yourself… and know that you are loved!!

You are wanted. You are needed. You are loved. You are beautiful.
These things may sound trivial right now but they are all true and we are all here for you anytime you need we all love and appreciate you and I know you feel sad and tomorrow may not be a good day and next week might not be good but think about the far future, all the things you haven’t yet achieved.
You do deserve this! You deserve all the love and support in the world, we are all here for you, ALWAYS! And nothing will change that.

I know that right now things may seem so dark but there is always light at the end of the tunnel and we are here to guide you through this. No one deserves to suffer alone.

I love you friend,
Hold fast,

Luna :heart: