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Belongs to: Therapist Reacts to Mansion by NF
I don’t have anyone to invite in. When I told my friends what was inside they all moved away…
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Thank you for sharing. Feeling like we have no one on our side or who understands is hard. I want you to know that you aren’t alone. This is a safe space and we are so grateful for you. I’ve experienced times in life when friends have come and gone and it was lonely wondering if I’d ever have a support system again. Looking back I realized that they were only meant for a season and as time moved forward others would come into my life when I least expected it. People and relationships change and I encourage you to hold on to the hope that your people are out there and will enter your life at the right time. Keep reaching out and know that we love you, you are valued and worthy!
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Being vulnerable is such a hard thing, we have to open up the rawest parts of ourselves and sometimes it feels like reopening a wound when we express what’s inside. It’s like we hold onto this hurt and trauma for so long and when someone offers to share in holding this hurt and trauma and we lean into trust them, it’s a new hurt and trauma that adds to it when they put it into the “too hard” basket.
Some people aren’t equiped to know what to do when this “unexpected” amount of pain is brought up. What they perceive on the outside is “fine” to them, but when it’s not, they can shut down and run away from what they don’t know how to control or contribute positively to.
I’ve had friends and people in my life turn away from me in my darkest moments. Moments where I thought I’d find myself surrounded by love and compassion were met with coldness and distance. Because people want to feel useful and good, and when they can’t, they run. What they don’t realise is that in the moments of darkness and quiet, we don’t always need them to save us, but to sit and acknowledge the hurt we have held and acknowledge the bravery, the progress and the fear of stepping out and putting words and names to our hurt.
Once we find those people who can settle with the uncomfortable and accept that they don’t have to be the solution in our own personal journey, things feel freer. It speaks more about their nature that they haven’t learned the balance of how to effect empathy and allow their hero complex to take a back seat. It’s not the at you aren’t worth sticking it out for, because you are. You always have a space here for that reason
Kia kaha- stay strong