My story might not be a problem to you but its devestating to me. My wife and i with our kids were looking for a home for 1 year. We saved up for 5 years. At the end of the year we made an offer on a house that we liked. We finally got our offer accepted. We offer way more then we should of but we were just happy. Its been 2 months and im miserable. My wife is good as she is a stronger person than me. I noticed that people neighbors here and trashy and my next door neighbor is mexican like me but he loves to party which brings music every other day. And my front neighbors love music too at random times of the day. My walls shake from the subwoofers. There houses are trashy. I started questioning our decision to buy here. Even thoug i love my house i hate the neighborhood. And im stuck because i payed to much. Who knows if people would want to rent here. I have talked to them about the music but they got mad eventually. Last night i had to call the cops and they did came and they did turn it down. But who knows what will happen in the future. I pray every day for peace and for God to move them or do something. I have a pastor i talk to and eveybody gave me good advice. They pretty much said to wait it out a couple years them consider options but honestly i cant so this anymore. I hate getting up in the morning. At work im a zombie and i hate going home. I wouldnt kill my self and i wouldnt give up because if my kids but its so hard to be trapped in my mind like this. Everything i didnt want when buying a house , i got. It kills me. Its hurting my marriage. She tells me i need to leave for some time becaue she doesn’t like how i react to things like the loud music. I keep beating my self up for not buying the right house and it will take years to make up. I dont know how im going to make it. Advice? Has anybody been through this?
I’m sorry you are going through this. I never been to your situation. Hoping God answers your prayers. Perhaps, there is something better will happen. Don’t give up the faith.
Thank you so much for being here. I hear your exhaustion and i’m really sorry you’re going through this.
This is something I’ve been through for 7 years, until almost 3 years ago. I spent 3 years in a small student room, in a residence that was a nightmare of sounds and parties at 3am. Then my partner and I lived in a small studio. At the moment we were in a very active and noisy neighbourhood in a city that was originally designed as a kind of giant campus. So, parties almost every night, loud music with shakes from subwoofers as well, not to mention people who always forgot their entry pass and would ring at every apartment so someone could open to them… including at 3 am. We were living at the first floor with direct access to a street + direct neighbours constantly yelling at each other. Those years were… something, to say the least. Just like you, we asked people from time to time to be reasonable with their music and they generally had two reactions: understanding and… doing the same the day after; or getting mad. My partner and I were so tired and on our nerves all the time. For me going through those years has made me a lot more sensitive to sounds/my tolerance has decreased a lot when it’s about others sounds and activities. Luckily we found a new place somewhere else since then… in front of a cemetery - which I’m used to making fun of by saying that this is the most peaceful neighbourhood I’ve ever known. I love having good relationships with neighbours, but those years just made me want to be a hermit.
Honestly I can’t imagine the pressure of having your own house but not being able to relax and enjoy the silence inside. In my situation, we were lucky to only rent the place. There was still a perspective of moving somewhere else as soon as possible, even if it wasn’t easy. So honestly, I can only imagine this feeling of being stuck where you are, but I also understand the fact that you miss the desire to wake up in the morning. Living in a place where you can rest and feel at peace is so important. When you can’t, it just creates this vicious cycle when you almost “wait” for the next loud sound to happen because you associate a specific place with restlessness and being on edge.
Our sensitivity is different from one person to another and I’m really sorry your wife asked you to leave for some time. How is she reacting regarding this? Is this something that’s bothering her as well, or not at all? It sounds that you would both benefit from a calm conversation in which both of you could share your view about the situation. You’ve been building a life together, you’ve made decisions together, so I have no doubt that you’d be both willing to find a way to go through this together.
I’m sorry I don’t have much advice here, besides a lot of sympathy for what you’re going through. Know that how you feel makes sense and I don’t believe it’s insgnificant. Relationships with our neighbours can be difficult sometimes, but I really hope this will be better in the future for all of you. I hope mutual understanding and peace on both ends will happen. If you ever need to get things off your chest, you are more than welcome to do it here.
Let us know how it goes for you.