I dont know what to do anymore

hello last week i fell into a deep depression and stil working on getting out of it. i woke up one morning feeling like i needed to end my life. i did not act on that feeling. what bothers me the most is in about 3 weeks my wife and i are doing ivf in hopes to have a child. i feel like how will i take care of a child if i cant take care of myself. i know i have a support system both here online and irl. but i will be the primary caretaker of our child and i am worried i wont be a good father. i already feel like less of a husband since i am on disability and can not work and our issues having a child are do to me. i feel lost and dont know where to turn i tried to talk to my theripist about it but it ended up with her and i dissagreing about where i am in my recovery she says i am farther then i say i am and i do more then i give myself credit for. i want to be a dad i wanna give my wife a child. but what will happen if i end my life or i cant get out of bed. so i came here because i know i wont get pitty i will get empathy and encouragement. i pray to God that this will work and it will give me something to keep fighting for.

Hey @drsmerfmaster,

First off thank you for sharing this. I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this, but know that you are capable of being a great husband, father, and friend.
Don’t get discouraged when you have bad days. Take life one day at a time. If you can make it through today, you can make it through tomorrow. Keep pushing through and remember how far you have come. Don’t discredit your progress so far.

Hold Fast,


Sorry to hear you are having trouble. If you feel like you are continuing to but heads with your therapist you may want to try and find a new one. thats what I had to do. only you know how you truly feel and if you feel like you still have more work to do then someone else is saying you follow your gut. I hope things start turning around for you.

all the best


@alyssagmz61 its not in a bad way that we butt heads she wants me to see that i am/do more then i think its not a thing thats making me go backwards

Hey friend,

So sorry to hear that, I’m so proud of you on acting on how you felt. That is so incredibly brave, so much more than you give yourself credit for.

I’m sure you will be an amazing father, you sound so loving and caring. A child will probably help you and give you another reason to keep fighting (other than your wife obviously❤️). You are not a bad husband and having any disability is not your fault. I really hope everything works out for you and your life and that all goes well!!

Hold fast,
Luna <3