This isnt me begging for anything I’m just frustrated
Ugh I don’t know what to do im like on the edge of poverty I can’t drive I need money to pay my therapist I don’t wanna keep asking my mom for cash in tired of having to limit my bank account in fear of losing food stamp money I got like no manual labor skills No one wants my art I can’t like do anything worth money in this stupid world What am I good at Being able to listen to people? I mean that would be great if I lived in Japan But like I’m not host or hostess material I’m not conventualy attractive enough to do sw and again that limits my ability to make money Like what am I supposed to do I can’t work Or at least I’m too fucking scared too God my upbringing really fucking ruined me huh All the while my family is just like “you just need to try harder” or “you just need to deal with it being a adult sucks” and it’s like yeah I know it sucks but it shouldn’t suck the way my adulthood sucks I shouldn’t be under so much stress that I hallucinate
I am proud of you for coming back & posting on The Wall. Each day gives us new opportunities & we can decide what we want to do with that day. Maybe there is something you have been interested in knowing more about & this is a good chance to look into it. Give yourself something to look forward to & be excited about. Give yourself grace. Be kind to yourself. Create space to heal, learn & grow. I know you can do it.
You are valid. You are enough. You are important. You are worthy. You matter.
thank you for posting this update and letting us in on such a vulnerable time in your life. listening is actually a very necessary skill in many industries so i wouldn’t limit your money-making options to just sex work. while i don’t know your background or education experience, i’d like to ask if going to community college (it can be affordable with financial aid) for career options you have interest in and can excel at would be worth your time? listening skills can apply to being a therapist/counselor, sales (listening to a client’s needs and problem solving with them), HR, and many industries. i feel like pursuing something like that would be beneficial to your financial struggles and the stress you feel with adulthood. sending you the best of wishes as you find the clarity and relief you need, my friend!
@derpplup, you sound very frustrated right now. I’m sorry that you are feeling that way. It seems that you feel that you don’t have options to earn money and keep your mental health resources. Sometimes, it helps to take a step back from the frustration, take a deep breath and look at it as if you are helping a friend through this. What would you say to them? How would you encourage them? I do think it’s important to keep your therapist so if it means asking your mom for money again, it might be a good idea. In the mean time, perhaps you could look at what jobs are available near you, even if you worked short term until you can become more successful with your art. You are worth more than you know. You are more than you realize and you can make changes. I wish you well through this.
I am sorry that you are going through this right now, and to feel so trapped by the situation around you. You don’t deserve to have to deal with this, friend. I am glad to read that you do have family that will help you out if needed. Though their advice of ‘just try harder’ may not be the most effective… at least they are there to care.
I don’t know what area you are in, so let me just ask… have you looked into if there is any low/no cost therapy options that you can get to? Or phone/online professional therapists that are low/no cost? Maybe there is a more affordable option for you to be able to get the therapy and counseling you are seeking?
As for the job front, somewhat the same question… is there any job placement, vocational resources, employment center, etc, that you can see if they have openings that fit your artistic, listening, and creative skills? Or at least offer something that you can physically execute while you look for something that does fall into your creative side? Though it may not be the more enjoyable, it would put money in the gas tank, and keep the therapy going (which is very important). I am sure there is work out there that fits exactly what you have to offer. The question is, who can help you find it?
In any case, I do wish you the best luck in getting through this. Please let us know how you are doing.
