I dont know what to do or how i should feel

So to start, i was with my ex at the start of November 2019, there was a 2 yr age difference and we were both in highschool, i had and still do have an overly restrictive mom and stepdad, who didnt support us and didnt allow us to see eachother outside of school we both went through mental health so we both know about eachothers attempts, we broke things off amicably in october 2020 but i still can’t get her out of my head… i still think about her alot and the love we had, we are also both with different people and i am in no way unhappy with the girl im with but i just cant stop thinking about her at times, me and grace both talked over message the other day about closure and how we feel and got stuff out in the air, i still want to be close to her but i dont want to bother her or distract her from the happiness she has. does anyone have any ideas or thoughts that can help me😔?

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Mist,

My heart breaks for you friend. It sounds like you really love this person and there are always so many obstacles in the way of you being close with her, whether it’s your parents or new relationships. I imagine it’s so frustrating to feel like this person who understands you on such a deep level and cares for you can’t be in your life in the way that you want her too.

I am wondering what about Grace feels so hard to move on from? Maybe thinking about that and then trying to evaluate if that something is specific to her.

It is incredibly common for people to look back on relationships and romanticize the good and forget about any of the problems in the relationship (I’m not saying this is what you are doing, just a note that it’s common).

I’m curious about your current relationship as well. Does it feel healthy and supportive? If not it may be time to evaluate that relationship.

My advice is to try to keep the two relationships separate and to not compare them, but to evaluate them separately.

I hope this helps friend. I’ve definitely been in a similar position and it feels horrible. Sending you love.

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@taylorpalmby thank you very much, i do still love grace but as a friend at this point in time, the relationship i have with my new girlfriend (Reagan) is healthy and supportive but its just very hard for me to stop thinking about grace entirely… i remember the happiness i felt with her, the love i received from her, i cant help but just wonder “what if?” what if we stayed together? i’ve always been an emotional person who just breaks down when i actually talk about what im feeling… and even writing on this forum is making me cry- in truth i wish things were better with me and grace, i dont want to lose her as a friend as someone i can talk to, i dont know if this is the right way to say this but i just feel so attached to her still and of course i want the best for grace i want her to be happy that she’s in a better situation with someone else, its just hard for me, i dont know why anymore, me and grace did end up getting with other people around almost the exact same time, but i have confirmed with her neither of us cheated on the other so i guess thats a silver lining? i do look back on the good in our past relationship, before covid kicked us out of school and into zoom she made me a Christmas present and valentines present both of which i still have, i haven’t looked at them physically since our break up but i dont forget they are there in my room 24/7, in all honesty the only bad things about our relationship was my parents not supporting us… i’ll try to keep the relationships separate, thank you for taking the time out of your day to help me… what do you think about this?

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